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Sex is hurtful, could it be because he is better endowed than my ex? My first experience with the ex did not hurt at all.

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Question - (26 June 2008) 4 Answers - (Newest, 26 June 2008)
A female United States age 30-35, anonymous writes:

Hi everybody, first I want to say thank you for taking the time to read this.

I am 20 years old. I had sex first when I was 18 with my first boyfriend. My first time to be honest with you didnt hurt at all and it actually felt really good. I didnt bleed or anything. However I am dating someone else now and we had sex but it hurt like hell!! I dont know whats wrong with me but he cant even get all the way inside of me without me being in pain.

The only thing I can think of is that he is larger than my ex. My ex actually had a small penis. So maybe since he was small it didnt hurt when I lost my virginity. But I dont know if he is larger than normal...i havent seen enough penises to compare! lol

So I am wonderig is it possible for sex to hurt if you lost your virginity with someone who was small and then do you kinda have to go through the pain again with someone who is average or large?? I hope you guys know what i am talking about.

Thanks again for your time, its really appreciated!!! :)

View related questions: lost my virginity, my ex

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A reader, anonymous, writes (26 June 2008):

Im lots older but my ex-husband was regular size 7in but then after I went out with a large man. He wanted me to take it all in but was impossible...Hello-- the vagina walls stretch so much..boy did it hurt...was not enjoyable at all... I had to go to the doctor the next day I felt swollen inside..... He said that there are ligaments that need to stretch and if is too big then I have to tell my partner and explain that he was too large for me and he had to take it slow and not be upset.... I was on anti-imflamatories for a wk. Next time we were together he had better understanding after talking about it some more and all went well.... Good luck

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A female reader, Susan Strict United Kingdom +, writes (26 June 2008):

Susan Strict agony auntMy guess is that when you first did it you spent far longer building up to it, so there was more natural lubrication. Maybe this time you are rushing it a bit??

Concentrate on spending longer on foreplay (getting HIM to spend longer on foreplay!) or, as Collaroy suggested, gets some lubrication from the chemist. Be a little careful about what you get, because many lubricants can make condoms ineffective as a contraceptive.

It's unlikely to be simply because of his size, much as he might like to think it is!

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A male reader, Collaroy Australia +, writes (26 June 2008):

Collaroy agony auntHi,

You sound realitively inexperienced, so the first thing you need to do is get some lubricant from the chemist.

This will make it easier for his penis to fit in your vagina, and couple this with a lot of foreplay so you can be naturally lubricated.

If you ask him his penis size remember to subtract about 2-3 inches from the total , that should be about the actual length :)

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A reader, anonymous, writes (26 June 2008):

I'd say that if you had sex with somebody who isn't extremely well endowed, that is what you'll be used to.

Then having sex with somebody that is well endowed will come as a shock to you and it will of course hurt you.

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