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Semen in his boxer shorts!

Tagged as: Cheating, Dating, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (1 July 2010) 21 Answers - (Newest, 5 July 2010)
A female United Kingdom age 30-35, *oraemoon writes:

i have been with my boyfriend for 18 mths now he has lied about his past to me ie sexual partners ect, a few months back i found a pair of boxer shorts behind the tv unit in our bedroom with small semen stains in them, but just about a week later he had a few stains in his underware it wasnt just in one place i know its not from us having sex either because it had been at least 4 maybe 5 days earlier, it was also near the waist band he says he would never cheat but im not so sure please help me!

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (5 July 2010):

maybe he just wanks often?

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (4 July 2010):

Hi,

i think you shouldsit down have have a 1-1 talk to him. after time thingsare bound to slip out. x

good luck

Lucy

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A female reader, loraemoon United Kingdom +, writes (2 July 2010):

loraemoon is verified as being by the original poster of the question

loraemoon agony auntthanks you im glad i got other peoples views

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A reader, anonymous, writes (2 July 2010):

I counted 12 not guiltys and no guiltys. As judged by a jury of your peers I now pronounce the accused...NOT GUILTY! Mr. Foreman have you anything to add?

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A reader, anonymous, writes (2 July 2010):

if you dont trust him, then give him the butter batter boot. but not on the basis of soup in the boxers.

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A female reader, loraemoon United Kingdom +, writes (2 July 2010):

loraemoon is verified as being by the original poster of the question

loraemoon agony auntthanks guys, but i know what your saying if hes cheating he aint gonna be leaving no semen, lol, in his underwear, but doesn't it still seep out after? mm yes

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A female reader, eyeswideopen United States +, writes (2 July 2010):

eyeswideopen agony auntThanks q, you are the go to guy on better butter/batter blather

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A female reader, Tisha-1 United States + , writes (2 July 2010):

Tisha-1 agony auntOr dick batter? I think we could put them all in as variations. Etymology unknown.

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A female reader, eyeswideopen United States +, writes (2 July 2010):

eyeswideopen agony auntIs it duck butter or dick butter? I butter be sure before it goes into posterity.

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A female reader, Tisha-1 United States + , writes (2 July 2010):

Tisha-1 agony auntMy guess is that he doesn't want to have to tell you that he masturbates. It would be like having your mommy catch you with your hands in your pants and it wouldn't be the best power position in the relationship.

It's like being a naughty little boy facing mommy, and he simply wants to be private about it. If it's really bothering you, I'd leave the undies with the tell-tale "duck butter" in a pile for him to deal with. [Yes, put that in the DC manual, Eyes.] You could also throw out an offhand comment like, "there's a reason they make extra large boxes of tissue paper." Or have a quiet, calm conversation about it.

So I agree, if he'd been unfaithful, there'd be no sign of "duck butter", I think. Just have a calm, loving talk with him, and try not to strike that strident "mom-nag" note that is the death-knell of romance!

Good luck.

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A female reader, eyeswideopen United States +, writes (2 July 2010):

eyeswideopen agony auntduck butter...should that go in the manual?

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A female reader, sexyskye United Kingdom +, writes (2 July 2010):

i think if he was cheating he would just have cleaned his own boxers , not threw them behind the tv . he was probably just havin a wank and maybe heard you coming in and had to hide the evidence , also you never mentioned how good or bad your sex life was so maybe they could have been worn when he was havin sex with you , i dont know maybe he threw them in the middle of sex with you hunny xx

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A female reader, loraemoon United Kingdom +, writes (2 July 2010):

loraemoon is verified as being by the original poster of the question

loraemoon agony auntthanks to you all, weather he jerks himself off or not why not just admit it! rather than me thinking hes been else were and leaving his left over stains in his underware

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A female reader, SallyR87 Australia +, writes (2 July 2010):

SallyR87 agony auntMy boyfriend jerks off into underwear desteined for the laundery. He thinks I don't know but I'M the one who does the laundery and it's pretty obvious. He's 31 and we have lots of sex yet he still masterbates. A lot.

My guess is that your BF is using them as wank-rags.

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A female reader, hannah76 United Kingdom +, writes (1 July 2010):

hannah76 agony auntHello,

I think it's just he was masturbating or leaking. But strange place to leave his dirty undies!!!! Hannah.

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A male reader, childof1981 United States +, writes (1 July 2010):

childof1981 agony auntAgree with marriedlady, not cheating just your typical gross guy behavior.

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A female reader, sweetsiepie United Kingdom +, writes (1 July 2010):

sweetsiepie agony aunthey there chick if hes never given u no reason 2 think hes cheated then trust him some men get excited even when they dont realise it so sometimes they leave a little mess and they dont realise its just natural thats all x

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (1 July 2010):

"Our" bedroom? That suggests you are ideally married or at least in a committed relationship; i.e. engaged. Otherwise, you are just living together for convenient sex and your man may choose more than one partner for convenient sex. Without a committed relationship everything is voluntary and there is no such thing as cheating. If you were my sister, I'd tell you to find your own place and not share addresses without a gold band, or AT LEAST a ring and a date.

Men masturbate even when they are in a satisfying sexual relationship and may do so without removing underwear and the result can find its way all around. Could have been a quick jerk.

Speaking of quick jerks, if he is sleeping around and was thoughtless enough to leave the evidence behind the television, you have more than one problem. Not only is he a player, but stupid as well.

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A female reader, SeriouslyStephanie United Kingdom +, writes (1 July 2010):

SeriouslyStephanie agony auntHe might of been masturbating. The fact the boxers were behind the TV suggests to me that he was perhaps watching a dirty movie and was trying to hide the evidence.

I wouldn't worry - it's natural for a male to watch a bit of porn now and then. Most girlfriends hate it, but at the end of the day it's better than cheating!

One more thing, the fact you checked the state of the boxers you found behind the TV suggests to me that you don't trust your boyfriend in the slightest I mean if I found a pair of my boyfriend's boxers I wouldn't be checking them for spunk-stains!!! Perhaps you need to look at your trust issues rather than accuse him of cheating

:)

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A reader, anonymous, writes (1 July 2010):

i dont think he's cheating...he probably had a wank or just leaked. He needs to be reminded where the dirty clothes hamper is i think but like chigirl says, i dont think it is a sign of him cheating.

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A female reader, chigirl Norway + , writes (1 July 2010):

chigirl agony auntHe probably leaked, and seeing as he leaves dirty boxers behind the TV he doesn't strike me as the most hygienic person in the world. I don't think your boyfriend cheats, I think he just walks around in dirty underwear way too often.

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