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Secretly in love with him and wanting to give him space to heal after his breakup.

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Question - (24 October 2010) 1 Answers - (Newest, 25 October 2010)
A female United States age 36-40, *martalex writes:

so, ive worked with and known this guy for 2.5 years. never worked directly with one another but would see him a few times a week. a couple of months ago i stopped working for the company and started as an independent contractor, so i still come into the office and run into him sometimes. we have always been flirty with each other. always called, emailed, or texted each other to see how one another were doing, even when we both had significant others.

Well, about 3 months into knowing him, i fell in love, im sure he knew although i never said it. i broke up with my boyfriend. then this guy and i started kissing and making out when we'd see each other. a few times he hinted towards sex in the heat of the moment, i kind of ignored it. i didnt want to take it that far when he was still with his girl, unhappily, if that matters. 5 months ago he broke up with her after 8 years. ive been distant trying to give him space to heal and he now seems distant. i am so in love but want to give him space in order to heal. what to do?

View related questions: broke up, fell in love, flirt, kissing, text

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A female reader, fi_the_tree United Kingdom +, writes (25 October 2010):

fi_the_tree agony auntStill try and keep some distance from him, but maybe txt/email him and say that you're sorry they broke up, but you will be there if he needs anything (someone to talk to/shoulder to cry on etc)

Then it's down to him what he does next. but he knows that you are prepeared to listen to him moan, maybe even comfort him if he's sad, and that is pretty much one of the best qualities we have. Just try to keep your emotions under control, which is often a rubbish quality us women possess...

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