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School, exams and controlling friends....

Tagged as: Big Questions, Friends, Teenage<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (17 April 2010) 2 Answers - (Newest, 18 April 2010)
A female United Kingdom age 26-29, anonymous writes:

i am 16 and doing my GCSEs and i go to one of the top grammer schools in the country and am so stressed because I have become so dumb since i started, i've just been going downhill. My expectations are so high because I used to be top of the class in primary school always and then everything just dropped. My predicted grades are not very good considering I need six A's to stay in this school, and have only got 3 as my predicted grades. I have hidden my report from my parents because I am so scared. I applied in 2 other schools but both rejected me and so if i dont get into this school i dont know whats going to happen.

my friendship group is a group of 4 (including me). 2 of them are really nice, but the other one is not. She controls everything, for example, in normal lessons she makes sure she is sitting next to the person in our friendship group that is the cleverest (so never me becasue i am not clever) and if I try to sit there, she makes me move. In a practice exam, she makes sure that she can copy the cleverst person in our friendship group and if I try to copy she will turn everyone in the group against me and start bitching about me. I want to tell the other 2, but am afraid that they may tell her and I will be out of the group instantly and me a loner. My parents cant help because my mum works in a retail shop and my dad is a bus driver and so they are not clever and cannot help.

As well as this, I am overweight, I have thyroid (which is a disease which makes you lose weight less than normal people, e.g. if I exercise with my sister, same time, same speed, she will burn more than me. So I have to work harder.). I am said to be pretty and have fair skin, silky hair and no spots on my skin, but my problem is my weight. I love to dance, I used to go dance classes, but have now stopped.

So what do you think I should do about everything?

Thanks

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A female reader, Isa123 United States +, writes (18 April 2010):

Isa123 agony auntAhh yes. Sixteen. The most stereotypical year for a woman...or anyone!

I went to an Early College Academy in High School. So yes, extremely high expectations in there. I know exactly how you feel. My first semester there freshmen year I went from a 4.0 to a 2.8. But then second semester and the rest of the years I worked harder onto a 5.0 =).

The huge change in schools is very tough. The school is tougher. So you have to bump up to what you're used to. Study more. Do more than what the teachers expect. And most importantly, stop calling yourself dumb. You are NOT. If you got into the school then you most certainly are not!

As for your friends. *sigh*. For friendships, this age is extremely bitchy. Friends talk behind their backs, cheat, etc. Like dearjohn83 said, go to dance classes and make other friends! Get your mind out of the stress!

As for losing weight. It isn't also exercising but also eating right and relaxing. For women it's very tough to lose weight and let alone if you have this condition.

Organize yourself and relax. Remember that these years are the toughest but the most rewarding. You can do this!

Good luck to you sweetie!

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A female reader, dearjohn83 United Kingdom +, writes (18 April 2010):

Hi,

Being 16 is a difficult age and especially with girls as girls can be VERY bitchy. I can understanf that it won't be easy to be out of the group and stand up to the 'Regina George (mean girls)' of the group. People like her hate being out of control and you seem like a smart girl that obviously notices it. I am sure if u notice this the other 2 notice as well but are too scared to stand up to her.

So why not kill two birds with one stone, go back to dancing class make new friends outside school and when you spend more time away from your school friends you'll realise that friendships should not be bitchy and also you will be less dependent on school group. The situation won't seem as bad then. I do definitely sympathise with you.

In terms of your school I am a true believer that things happen for a reason. Say worst scenario you dont get the grades u go to another school and actually have a better time in the new school. Try not to panic because the more you panic the less you'll take in from your studying. Just try your best because that's the only thing you can do. Dont think about what other people expect from you just live up to your expectations.

Hope ure ok x

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