A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hello everyone,I am currently struggling with a bizarre situation, and I would like to know if I am the only one who has experienced this.First, a little background:I identify as bisexual and have been sexually attracted to both males and females. I have been in a happy comitted relationship with a male for over two years, and I have not found myself attracted to anyone else since. However,There is this girl. I'm embarrased to say I know little more about her than her name. We've never spoken, but I have found myself intensely, passionately, almost desparately attracted to her. Here's the catch though, I do not want her sexually. I think she is the most beautiful woman I have ever seen in my entire life, and I absolutely can't get her off my mind lately. But I am not sexually aroused by her. It's not that the thought of sex with her turns me off, I just don't feel that way about her. It's something else entitrely, but I can't put my finger on it.All the rest of it is there, my heart speeds up when someone says her name, I feel like I might faint when I see her...Can somebody please help me sort out my thoughts? Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (13 September 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionDistraction is the best plan I think.
I can't really avoid seeing her, but the good news is that she is far enough above me that I won't be getting any closer either.
Thanks for the responses!
A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (12 September 2012):
 Yeah it does sound like you almost envy her and that this is where your near obsession is coming from. I think she has everything you want. I know it is hard to avoid her, but I think you need to just try and distract yourself from her as much as you can.
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reader, anonymous, writes (12 September 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionMight also help to know that we are also both in the military, and she is in a substantially higher position than I. Also, this makes avoiding her near impossible I'm afraid.
This probaby fills in a few blanks... even to myself haha..
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reader, anonymous, writes (11 September 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you for responding!
Yes, yes that makes sense...
She his a lot of the things I'm working toward so it might be that.
Also I have become "obsessively" attracted to girls in the past, so I know the signs and force myself to stop. This doesn't feel like that though, and unfortunately I will need to be around her. At this point, the only thing that might become obssive is my trying to avoid her.
What would I want from her? I really can't say. I have no idea. This right here is why I'm exactly why I'm so confused. Maybe it's a strong form of admiration? That's the closest thing I can think.
Thanks for the insight!
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty +, writes (11 September 2012):
Would it be possible that you want what this girl has? You don't know her personally, so you don't know if she has a nice personality or not or if she is even a nice person. So I am guessing this is all to do with how she looks and holds herself. Could it maybe be the fact that you find her beautiful and you would like to have the same image as her? This would be a reason why you cannot get her out of your head and why your not actually sexually aroused by her. My best advice to you would be to try and avoid her as things like this can go to far and cross over to obsessive behaviour.
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