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Ruining my life with rumours. How doI fight it?

Tagged as: Social Media<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (18 June 2017) 3 Answers - (Newest, 20 June 2017)
A female India age 26-29, anonymous writes:

Hi

This isn't a relationship question but I would appreciate your thoughts . First of all, believe me such people exist - the worst unimaginable leeches especially up here. I'm the type of person who likes to mind my own business and work hard on myself. I'm into modelling and a lot of jealousy and bullshit happens but I stayed clear until my misfortune of meeting this girl who was your roommate. She is the kind of person who would be behind bars for all she does.

She pretended to be my best friend and supporter and tricked me into believing she is my support system and I made a huge mistake of sharing everything with her. She stalked my work and worked with those same people without letting me know. Worst, she can brainwash anyone and turn people against someone. She spreader rumours about me at so many places, a lot of people stopped working with me! I have worked so hard for my reputation and she ruined it all. A work contact shared screenshots to get me in my senses about who she really is.

I was so naive, she used to talk shit about other girls. Horrible stuff that you can't even imagine and I used to nod my head without caring cause those were strangers for me and I never cared. She made me confess all and now she can use those screenshots against me. She can go to ANY LEVEL. ANY. I have never met an abusive clever full of jealously leech like that. She was doing the same thing to me all along.

I didn't block her but blocked her from my instagram stories so she doesn't get to know what I'm up to and stop messing with my life and career. She FOUND OUT. All she does is make fake accounts or make other people follow me to find out. Then made an account of the name "xyzblockcollection" a different followed me as a taunt that she knows.

I want this toxic leech out of my life but the problem is if I Block her, it will provoke her to do anything to ruin my name and career and she can follow me through fake accounts. Very very clever woman I tell you.

What do I do? She can use screenshots to ruin my relationships and work contacts. But I can't keep her on my social media. Moreover, I'm a public figure. For how long am I supposed to hide amd keep things private or stay cautious? Why should I stop living my life!!

I need help. I don't know what to do. Let me tell you again, the kind of rumours she spreads are killing like "stealing accusations or porn etc". She is infamous for getting in physical fights with people. I'm stuck with a garbage of a human being..only mistake was I was so naive to see how clever and jealous people can be. Not everyone is good! A lot of friends who thought I'm a good person sent me Msgs having doubts about what they heard!!

View related questions: best friend, jealous, porn, roommate, stalking

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A male reader, WiseOwlE United States + , writes (20 June 2017):

If she ever publishes anything, you can find any solid evidence linked to her to smear your reputation; or to cause you to lose work. You can hire an attorney to sue for defamation of character. You may not get anything for the a slander suit, but you clear your name. You must have solid-proof; and witnesses to corroborate your claims.

I know that some entertainers and models sometimes have to sign contracts that contain morals clauses. They have to have a squeaky-clean background. You may represent clients with national or international notoriety. Big brand names!

Even the small up and coming businesses have to protect their brand and reputations! As you may well know! Well, you do now, if you didn't before.

Unfortunately; your bad behavior catches-up with you, if you plaster all sorts of things on social media. Any prospective employer or client, can hire investigators or firms that do background-checks. Which will include checking and sweeping social media. Models sell their faces. They are recognizable and can be easily associated. So you have to be very careful, my dear!

She didn't necessarily have to be the one to expose you. Once you put stuff out there, it can wind-up almost anywhere. The jealousy may not be isolated to one person.

You should know better than to share all your personal- business and post everything in creation about yourself. Some things you keep to yourself, or you shouldn't capture on video. It's your mistake if you over-share very confidential information; or publish explicit images of yourself. Careful what you trust in the hands of people that you know might slip-out, or be misused to do you harm. You wouldn't have kept it secret all the long, unless you already know how it might hurt you. So take responsibility for that.

Now about rumors. They are only valuable to the believers and are only spread by people with their own dirt to hide.

It's a way to deflect attention from your own faults and weaknesses; by exposing others or making up lies to smear them.

Eventually it backfires. She's making a lot f enemies and burning bridges. She's building a case against herself. The poison she spreads also alerts the people who listen, to what she's all about; and what she's capable of. The believers egg her on, just to see how far she'll go. They may also savor some juicy gossip. They'll eventual abandon her or rat her out! Her karma is going to be quite a nasty one!

Only the people who don't like you follow-through or echo the rumors she spreads in her evil little smear-campaign against you. Not your true friends. If anything is true, I guess it was going to come-out sooner or later. Once it's out, you don't have to hide it anymore. It then becomes old-news everybody knows; unless it's illegal. Then you might have a problem.

Now you've gotten a taste of the dog-eat-dog competitive world of business. Watch your back! Girlfriends can also be back-bitters. Especially when your beauty and your figure are your gifts that earn your living.

Seek legal advice. Put together as much traceable-evidence to back you up as you can. Anyone who has told you what she is up to may also be witnesses on your behalf. Any letters you have rejecting you for employment are solid evidence; and they have to give you details for why you were denied a job. You should know better than to share your leads for modeling jobs. You know how competitive your industry is.

Those people who turned on you, have now themselves been exposed. Now you know who your real friends are, sweetheart.

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A female reader, Youcannotbeserious United Kingdom + , writes (19 June 2017):

Youcannotbeserious agony auntDo you HAVE to share your life on line? I ask the question out of genuine interest as I don't know the way your career works. Do the on-line posts help promote you? Do you NEED to post to keep up a high profile? Or could you possibly cut back on the posts for a while until this bitter woman loses interest and moves on to her next victim? (Being older than you I find the whole concept of sharing my life on line for the world to see quite crazy.)

I do think, also, you need to take SOME responsibility for what is happening. You say "she made me confess all". Unless she drugged you or held you at gunpoint, she didn't MAKE you do ANYTHING. You CHOSE to tell her everything. Be more selective about the information you share with people going forward. You CAN keep some information to yourself, especially if it is something which could harm your career.

If she is making allegations about you that are untrue, are there no laws she is breaking? I know nothing about laws in India but there must be something which could be done if she is harming your career with lies. However, if she is merely spreading what you actually told her, then you have effectively not only given her the rope to hang you but you have put it around your own neck and tightened the knot for her. Expensive lesson learned.

Your true friends already realize what they are hearing is not necessarily the truth. Hang onto those people as they are worth their weight in gold.

In your shoes I would try to keep a relatively low profile and hope this woman gets bored and moves on to her next victim quickly. In the meantime, work hard and make a point of mentioning to employers that this woman is spreading rumours about you so they are aware.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (18 June 2017):

Oops! Way too many typos. Hope it's understandable though. OP here. Thanks for your help!

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