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Romance or convince? Or would you gals rather meet a guy at a mutual level of interest?

Tagged as: Crushes, Dating, Friends, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (14 April 2016) 2 Answers - (Newest, 14 April 2016)
A male United States age 30-35, anonymous writes:

Hello Everyone

Not a douche. Just wanted to put that out there.

Can you trick a girl into liking you? Not trick in a malicious way but rather convince after her initial hesitation or last minute resistance?

Im thinking romancing.

Oh and girls do you guys know what last minute resistance is? Like in the dating world? If so what do you think about it?

Or would you gals rather meet a guy at a mutual level of interest. Like a transaction where everybody is on the same page and happy. The latter is rather boring to me to be honest. Thanks.

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A male reader, Fatherly Advice United States + , writes (14 April 2016):

Fatherly Advice agony auntThe sad truth is that this is one of those cases where what women say and what women do are at odds. Honey is exactly right. Women are annoyed by the idea of being tricked, but they Want to be seduced.

Some guys have mistaken this desire for seduction as willingness to play a game. That is not the case. What they want is genuine seduction.

Is it ok to wear your best and be on your best manners? Yes, if you don't you give the impression that you don't take them seriously. they have a whole industry out there making them look their best. They expect the same from you.

Complements should be genuine. They should reflect your respect for her. All of this is good.

Last minute resistance is really another question. Generally last minute resistance means that you got to last minute before she did. Or . . . . she is playin a game. The best way to treat LMR is with respect. What she needs is assurance that you respect her. If you start some game at LMR that sends the wrong message.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (14 April 2016):

Honeypie agony auntI think "tricking" someone or convincing them to date you is a show of lack of respect for that person.

If the person is unsure they are interested or feel anything, I'd let them go. I'd MUCH rather they come to the conclusion that "HEY maybe there WAS a little "something" about that guy/girl!".

Girls so often do things to be "nice" because they DON'T want a label of being a "bitch" (Unless it's being a fabulous bitch!). So while it MIGHT be easy for some guys to "trick" a girl into giving him another date/chance, I don't think it's the right thing to do. It makes me think of those slimy oily used car-salesmen stereo type. *shudders*

If a girl has DOUBTS about you, do you really think some semi "fake" gesture will melt that away? Eventually she WILL see you for WHO you are, and then what?

I think for a long term relationship to work you NEED to have some things in common. You don't have to be carbon copies of each others, sometimes opposites works too. But there has to be, at the VERY least, MUTUAL RESPECT.

When I met my first BF it was a mutual attraction that happened, neither of us had any idea that we actually shared quite a few things in common. But there was no doubt that we wanted to get to know each other better.

With my husband I was UNSURE and HE didn't push or tried anything "fancy" to convince me. We started talking and getting to know each other without any kind of pressure. And it went from there.

Women aren't a game or a prize.

Just my 2 cents.

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