A
female
age
26-29,
*ikki Nikkles
writes:Okay, hey guys.I've got a little problem with my best friend of 12 years.Alright, she's 16 (along with me) and in her freshmen year at high school, she got together with this guy. Now, at first, I didn't think much of this guy. He was dull, a little boring, totally unoriginal... You catch my drift. And I found that odd because my best friend is such an outgoing, different, awesome girl who's fun-loving and INCREDIBLY smart. Well, this dull guy cheated on her a few times, and she was totally heartbroken... She gave him everything: her love, her virginity. And now she has no respect for herself anymore. She'll give herself to anyone. And she STILL hangs out with this dull guy for reasons I don't know of. I have been with her through all of this. But she has constantly lied to me - saying she'll never hang out with this guy again, she'll stop drinking so much, etc, etc. But she never keeps her promises. I have tried so much... But she's just abusing herself.I've thought about walking away from her... But honestly? Her mother is not supportive, her dad is a drug-addict, one of her brothers is never home, and her other brother - who I'm dating - is in the same situation as me. She's got no one left, and I'm afraid that if I leave her, she might do something even more irrational. Any advice? At all? Thank you.
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female
reader, rinnnboo  +, writes (7 July 2010):
I've learned that no matter what you say to a person and show that you genuinely care about what there doing isn't going to change anything. Its so frustrating i know but I really think you should just talk to her about this. I've been her before, and there's really nothing you can do. A couple years ago I was doing a lot of ecstasy all the time and my best friend was so against that. I would call her to hang out and she would never answer, basically she just started being really distant with me. I asked her why she was acting weird and she told me that she didn't want to be friends with someone who was into that kind of stuff that I was doing. As soon as she told me that, I drastically made a change. I knew there was no drug that could ever replace our friendship. So i stopped, well i slowed down and we remained friends. I think you should try this with her. If she disregards all your concerns and your conversation about it, then clearly she doesn't value your friendship with her and you as a person. And obviously no on wants to be friends with someone who feels that way about them. Shes probably just lost right now and is going through a lot, and is taking everything out on herself...I used to do that all the time, its a lot worse than you think. But i think eventually she'll come around.
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