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Relationship of 12 years not going anywhere, so I'm cheating and want to be with that girl

Tagged as: Cheating, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (13 October 2011) 7 Answers - (Newest, 17 October 2011)
A male United Kingdom age 41-50, anonymous writes:

I,ve been in a relationship 4 12 years now but the relationship doesnt seem to be going anywere. recently i,ve been seeing someone else behind her back, shes allot younger than me, when ever i see her i feel complete, ive even risked a kiss and cuddle when my girlfriends not looking. Ive tried to forget about her but i just cant stop thinking about her, i feel like i want things to work out with this other young lady rather than my girlfriend.

Please can anyone give me advise without critasism.

P.S sorry about any spelling mistakes.

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A female reader, chickpea2011 United States +, writes (17 October 2011):

chickpea2011 agony auntHi,

I agree with everybody here. 12 years is a long time, and if you don't have feelings for your current girlfriend, and don't see a future together, please let her go with dignity. After 12 years, if you don't want to be with her anymore, at least respect her for all the years she devoted to you. Have some compassion, and let her go. And continue your affair with the new woman. Understand, I am not criticizing you, it's not your fault you no longer love your old girlfriend, it's not your fault you met new woman, and wants to persue her, but it's not fair to cheat on your girlfriend because you don't love her anymore. Your girlfriend love you for 12 years.

Please, end with respect, dignity, have compassion. I am sure she will be ok if you break up with her, but if she finds out you are cheating, it will destroy her, and change her life forever.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (13 October 2011):

Honeypie agony auntIt's pretty simple. Leave your current GF - let her move on with her life too, you obviously have.

There is never a good reason to cheat.

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A female reader, So_Very_Confused United States +, writes (13 October 2011):

So_Very_Confused agony auntwhy don't you end the first relationship? if' you are not happy then end it and go with the second girl as long as she's legal and available.

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A female reader, chigirl Norway +, writes (13 October 2011):

chigirl agony auntI have to ask, if you want this other girl then why aren't you breaking up with your current girlfriend rather than stringing her along?

The solution isn't as difficult as you make it out to be. If your relationship isn't working the solution isn't to cheat, the solution is to break off the relationship and keep your dignity.

Do the right thing, break it off with your girlfriend.

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A female reader, RedAthena United States +, writes (13 October 2011):

RedAthena agony auntThen end your current relationship. Starting a new relationship on secrets and lies is a poor foundation.

Do the right thing. Cheating with the new person will eventually bite you on the bum. If the new gf ever becomes suspicious of you later, she will always remembered you cheated to be with her!

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A male reader, N91 United Kingdom +, writes (13 October 2011):

N91 agony auntYou should have left her already then. No reason to cheat.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (13 October 2011):

If your current relationships going nowhere then why haven't you ended it already?

Not run to somebody else who has grabbed your imagination and you have a crush on. It may seem exciting, she's younger and clearly willing to see a man who's spoken for.Doesn't mean it would last if you were together.She would probably get bored once she's got you to herself and start looking for her next conquest...probably somebody else's partner too.

Why not end your unhappy relationship,set her free, instead of lying n cheating, move into your own place, then see what develops with this young girl.

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