A
female
age
18-21,
anonymous
writes:Recently it's seemed like everything I say to my boyfriend annoys or irritates him and I don't know why. I've always talked the same but he just gets so like annoyed and I don't know why he wants to stay with me if he finds me so annoying, he hasn't said anything about finding me annoying but I can tell. I've tried talking to him about it but he just sweet talks or changes the subject. I don't know what to do, any help? Reply to this Question |
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female
reader, rhythmandblues2  + ♥, writes (15 March 2008):
 I agree hun, with the Mars vs Venus rubber band theory here, you are probably spending WAY to much time with him and he hasn't had enough guy time or time to himself...too much of you is a great way to ruin a relationship, especially if it is a pretty new one.....he is young and probably doesn't want to feel so settled down, too, so realize that and give him more of a challenge to work for. I am not suggesting you start dating others if he is your boyfriend, but you have things to do in your own life that you chose to do instead of seeing him when he wants and he will start trying harder to be with you when you are available....take your power back by being an independent young woman with interests other than your boyfriend.
A
female
reader, thatgothgirl20 +, writes (15 March 2008):
 I agree with Laura. I think time apart will do the trick. If he can't be honest with you (sweet talks/changes subject) then it's time for a sabbatical. You don't have to break up, but you can just get space from each other. You have my condolensces.
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A
female
reader, *Jess* + ♥, writes (15 March 2008):
 This seems to be explained in a book I've read, 'Men are from mars, women are from venus' I recommend it to everyone! It realy helps understanding of how the other sex's mind works and can even help you understand yourself a little bit more. It has a theory called 'men are rubber bands' and this suggests that men feel the need to pull away and become distant from their partner occassionally, particularly if you have been through a period of time where you have been really close with each other. The idea is that the man needs this space from his partner to confirm his feelings for her, when they have time apart he realises how much he needs her and springs back, like a stretched rubber band. However, women often get confused when this happens, they think they have done something wrong to cause the man to become so distant with them, consequently they chase after the man in an attempt to be close to him again and this just pushes him further away. Like laura said, maybe some space or time apart will help your relationship, try not to feel hurt, if he says you haven't done anything wrong to cause him to act like this then it sounds very likely to be the rubber band effect and all he needs is some space to reconfirm his feelings and his need to be with you. xxx
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A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (15 March 2008):
 When love flew out the window, that is how they react.
Everything becomes annoying or wrong...
A time apart may help alleviate this situation.
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A
female
reader, Irish49  + ♥, writes (15 March 2008):
 You have asked him and he's offering you no assurances or reasons as to why he's doing this. That is not the way we treat people we care about. Tell him to start explaining himself or you will walk before he wears you down, emotionally. If this continues, he will drain the life energy out of you. No one should tolerate this type of bad behavior from a dating partner. Start setting some boundaries, girl. You and he have a mutual, 50-50 deal here, and he's not kicking in his share.
Now on a more darker side, he could be losng interest and doesn't have the balls to end this relationship, in a dignified manner by being honest with you. To me that is a character weakness and gives you a lot of information about him. I think you and him had better have a good chat.. as soon as possible. Good luck hun, and be strong.
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