A
female
age
22-25,
anonymous
writes:hello, So this is the thing, my girlfiend and i have been together almost three years now, we have our ups and downs like all relationships we grow together, become stronger in ways. I was really insecure at one point it was killing our relationship..so i had to work really hard to get over it. i mean she showers me with love, reasures me in every way...she has even cried cus of the problems i had...well we are 21 she 22 next month, so we go out as a couple havin fun, and i hate drama especially lesbian drama...Okay so i have this friend, i have known her for a loooong time and i never like to look down on anyone...we have been hangin with her and her girlfriend having a good time. but i started notice'n her flirting with my gf in a way that became disrespectful to me. I mean we all flirt friendly..but her flirt started to bother me.. the thing is that she is with the girl that she cheated on her 2yr relationship with her ex with..so yeah i already kind of dont like that...and she has cheated on her current girl...i know its bad but i just thought that shes my friend and she wouldnt do that to me..but i didnt want to argue with my girl about my friends actions..so i brought it to my friends attention...and she hasnt talked to me about it yet.I emailed her because we haven't seen each other...but she tells her girl that im suppose to be a great friend..but she hasnt come to me as an adult to talk about it...is she feeling guilty? My girl is a real people person...but has brought it to my attention how she acts..so i trust my girl..but what's up with my friend..i wont even talk to her because im really mad...
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flirt, her ex, insecure, lesbian Reply to this Question |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Sweet-thing  + ♥, writes (24 May 2007):
 I don't think your friend is much of a friend if she's coming on to your girlfriend. It would be no different if you had a male friend who put the moves on your g/f -- the friendship would be on shaky ground or it would be over with. Life is too short to surround yourself with people you can't trust. Friends will always treat you with respect and know where the boundaries are. Anyone else is just in it for themselves and are not your friend. You would be smart to distance yourself from this "friend" and from now on, be picky about the people you and your g/f hang out with. Not everyone you hang out with is really your friend. I wish you the best.
A
male
reader, DV1 +, writes (24 May 2007):
 If she's continuing to flirt, and she hasn't taken the time to confront the problem, she's not your friend. I would just distance yourself from her.
DV1
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A
female
reader, rhythmandblues2 + ♥, writes (24 May 2007):
 Well, you say you hate lesbian drama, but there in lies the problem, my lesbian friends complain about this ALOT.
Lesbian women in general are very very quick to commit to a girlfriend, and often because of this they jump to quickly into gf/gf roles, when really they don't know enough about each other.
It is disrespectful to you to flirt with your girl, and I would say just that to the other friend, and then leave it, she is not going to talk to you about it because she knows you are angry with her, and she obviously does not care that she has been disrespectful....but if you don't let it go unnoticed then she is on warning, correct? Also, with out an accusatory tone in your voice, mention to your girlfriend that you don't like that this woman flirts with her, and ask her to tell the girl to stop it.
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