A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:hello, I have been speaking to this guy for nearly 4 years on and off. we have always said we care for each other and have a natural connection but haven't done anything about it due to my travelling and uni and his work. We text all day everyday and when we don't, it feels weird. However, we both really want to see each other but never pursue it. he always asks me silly things like love me, marry me and he does ask to see me but I'm scared I'll meet him and get hurt I really like this guy but if he did like me wouldn't he really want to see me? I have met him twice and kissed him both times but that's it. We just never try for anything more. I know he talks to other girls not just me. Am I fighting a lost cause?
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male
reader, birdwriter  +, writes (6 May 2017):
 I would argue AGAINST Honeypie's answer and say that if you both wanted to see each other, you would find a way to make time for each other. 4 years and not a lot has happened may seem like bad news bears... but if he's still single, it's not quite over yet. It's not dead, it's just a Schrodinger's cat. You won't know if it's dead or not until you open the box (check the first season finalee of Big Bang Theory to understand this metaphor).
Mind you, as a guy, just because I talk to other girls, doesn't necessarily mean that I am not keeping my options open when I am single... but the ladies I remember the most are the ones I spend time with the most, so you gotta few handful of tricky things going against you. If you are texting and talking to him everyday, that's at least one good sign, but it's a stronger sign if he's messaging you First (arguably, this can be said about both sides, but as of recent years, it's more when a guy messages the girl first)! However, you got to get him to think about you when your not around, which means spending more time with him.
You'd have to at least make time for him once a week to show that you are interested in him, and if you two keep that up, you may have a chance. :)
A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (15 July 2016):
 4 years and nothing have happened? Yes, this is dead in the water like Titanic... no future there.
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