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Really embarrassed about the after affects of anal sex... is it normal?

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Question - (15 August 2010) 5 Answers - (Newest, 18 August 2010)
A male Canada age 22-25, anonymous writes:

Hi, I am a gay male, and I recently started having anal sex (receiving), and it feels great! He is very gentle, since he knows I'm inexperienced and, well, tight! But I noticed a bit of feces on the condom a couple times. Another time, I was on top, and when we finished and I took it out, not a lot but, a small amount of feces came out. I was very embarrassed, and honestly quite disgusted. Is this normal or common? Is there anything I can do to prevent this? I tried to empty my bowels beforehand, but I don't think they're ever "empty" per se.

I'd greatly appreciate a reply,

Thank you in advance,

-Inexperienced Gay Boy

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A reader, anonymous, writes (18 August 2010):

Happened to me the first time i had anal sex(havn't done it since just not into it)

i was beat red when he pulled out

he laughed.. he thought it was funny not in a disgusting funny way more of a it's natural funny way

so i just shrugged it off

i figured that if i do it again(which i probably will he seems to like it)

I would shower... go to the bathroom(or at least try)

do the enima and hope for the best :)

just enjoy it if it doesn't bother your partner

Its no worse that when us girls pull up and see period blood all over our boyfriends! lol

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A reader, anonymous, writes (18 August 2010):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Thanks everyone for all your advice.

I forgot I should've mentioned that I have Crohn's disease, but am managing it quite well. I eat EXTREMELY healhty, including lots of fiber and my stool is mostly well-formed...I am also super active (gym twice a day). I think my problem may have been the particular position (me sitting on top "riding" lol).

He's actually not my boyfriend, but I guess what you call a "friend with benefits"...we're very good friends, and I trust him completely. We just have a physical/sexual chemistry that does not cross-over to a real relationship.

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A male reader, heartfullalove Ireland +, writes (17 August 2010):

heartfullalove agony auntI don't want to advise you to under-eat. Fact is though, the less active your digestive system is, the less likely this is to be a problem that gets in the way of enjoying a great sex life. If you're proud of your figure, I trust you already watch your calorie intake. And NO-ONE finds...erm, whatever word you want to use for human waste...any kind of turn-on. It's about the un-sexiest thing in the world.

OK, I'm not a doctor. But all the stuff you hear elsewhere applies. Grapes, lettuce, fruit'n'veg in general = Good. KFC, McDonalds etc = Bad News! And always drink lots and lots of water, it's great for the skin, and as far as I know it helps to rinse out your whole system head to toe.

Also, LOADS of lube has great cleansing properties anyway I believe. Three or four sachets of KY or Easyglide ought to be just as effective as a douche without being as gross.

Love your ass if you want it to be loved. Keep it as clean and pristine as pure white snow, and your man (unless he's a filthy dirtbag) will appreciate it and you'll feel the benefits!

Good luck

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A female reader, tennisstar88 United States +, writes (17 August 2010):

tennisstar88 agony auntI think its normal, bc when my husband and i did anal he said he could feel something..I felt embarrassed and a lil grossed out but he just laughed it off. Now my gay friends hate "poop dick." Also, i just read on a site that a diet high in fiber will lead to well formed bowel movements, it also said small amounts of feces may remain in the rectum if the bowel was not well formed. In addition it says, that the dirtiness for some heightens the joy and douching may be a turn off. So there u go anal douching and a diet high in fiber, if u dont eat that much fiber u can go to the pharmacy section in wal-mart or walgreens and purchase Benefiber to give u more fiber intake. U just mix it into ur drink there's no grittiness, and it doesnt alter the taste of ur drink. Good Luck!

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A female reader, sorceedea United States +, writes (15 August 2010):

sorceedea agony auntHi Inexperienced Gay Boy,

have never had anal sex in my entire life before. However, I do feel for you and can understand the embarrassment you must be going through every time this happens once you are done with your sex partner. This I've heard, is a common concern of people who haven’t had anal sex before worry about how much feces may or may not be involved. The first thing to know is that the parts of your anal anatomy that are involved in anal sex are not where feces are stored. The rectum and anal canal are a passageway, not a storage space. So if you’ve had a healthy bowel movement that day, and do a little external wash up (maybe put your finger inside your anus a little way while your washing), there shouldn’t be more than minute fecal matter in your rectum.

That said it is possible and maybe even likely that when something goes in your anus it will come out with a little bit of feces. This usually happens to people who's bowel movements are not functioning as they are suppose to (constipation). Eating a healthy diet (High in fiber), gentle enemas to thoroughly clean the area, and taking extra supplements to improve regular bowel movements may help with the embarrassment. The best way you can tell if your bowels are functioning normally is to see how long it takes for you to go defecate or go to the bathroom as soon as you are done eating. If it takes a day, two days, or maybe just once within the 3 times you have eaten? Then your bowels are not moving the way they are suppose to.

Our bowels are suppose to move the same way as a new born, cats, dogs, etc. However, our diet has kept us from helping our bodies function the way they are suppose to. With that being said, I would recommend seeing a doctor if the problem persist to see what he/she says and if they can give you any suggestions and can help. After all, it's always a good thing to have a check up and make sure you are healthy and have nothing wrong with you :-). Just try talking to your sex partner and see if he can understand your embarrassment and will disregard the problem and work with you as a loving loyal partner suppose to do. Love overseas all things and if he loves you, he won't care and will stay with you to work it out no matter what. Hope this helps.

Good Luck!

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