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Questions about the honeymoon period, and what are other couples sleeping arrangements?

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Question - (8 July 2010) 8 Answers - (Newest, 8 July 2010)
A female Australia age 36-40, anonymous writes:

I have a couple of quick and easy questions:

How long has the 'honeymoon period' typically lasted in your relationships?

How do you normally sleep with your partners? Most of my relationships I'd go home to sleep but my current partner likes sharing a bed. I've got to say, I like waking up next to him too... but I do find I sleep so much better lying flat on my back with some space around me. Sometimes when we cuddle in the morning he drops hints about how much he'd love us to sleep like that, close in each others' arms. So I'm just curious about what other people prefer.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (8 July 2010):

I haven't had a honeymoon just yet. But with my partner, I enjoy sleeping next to him, and cuddling up to him in the night and letting him cuddle me in the night. That's what I love about sleeping with them, and waking up next to him in the morning :).

I have had to make some sacrifices for that though, When I used to sleep on my own, I loved it being silent. I hated there being noise, I couldn't sleep if there was any. And I didn't like having someone taking up my space in a bed! Now that I sleep with someone, I have to put up with any noise and someone taking up my space, but it is worth it! I still get all the sleep that I want and need, but still have the pleasure of being by his side

Good Luck

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A male reader, daletom United States +, writes (8 July 2010):

I haven't had much experience with "relationships" as they're called - briefly loved a girl the summer after High School, didn't date during college - met my wife at age 22, married her a year and two weeks later - still married (to each other!) almost 36 yrs later. So I'm not sure how I'd even recognize the "honeymoon phase". I know we made some adjustments and compromises, both in personal habits and preferences, and in assumptions and attitudes, starting the first few weeks of marriage.

I never shared a bed with anybody until our wedding night. Yes, it took a little time to get accustomed to it! I recall that I didn't sleep well that night - whenever she shifted I think I woke up. For the first week or so of marriage we tended to have a (my side)/(your side) sleeping arrangement but as we became more accustomed to each other there was more cuddling and touching. After a month or two we developed a pattern of having our primary lovemaking on waking up in the morning, which may not have happened if we weren't in the same bed. I also came to enjoy short, gentle, half awake couplings when I roused in the middle of the night, drifting back to sleep still coupled in the spoons position. She wasn't always keen about being awakened - sometimes she wanted an orgasm to help her get back to sleep, other times she just rolled on her side and bent her legs so I could enter and complete without waking her.

Now our sleep patterns vary a lot. Sometimes we will cuddle and caress a lot during the night, other times we keep to ourselves. If we make love at bedtime, we usually finish in the spoons position, and drift off to sleep still coupled. That's definitely not for the neat-freaks, but we find the feelings of going soft inside her, and the love juices on our thighs, actually very intimate.

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A male reader, baddogbj China +, writes (8 July 2010):

baddogbj agony auntMy wife and I are quite cuddly but: I sleep about 4 hours a night less than she does; my ideal sleeping temperature is about 5 degrees lower than hers and I weigh 280lbs whilst she weighs 110lbs. What has always worked well for us over the last 10 years or so is for me to have a king sized bed, quite a low one and then for her to have a king sized mattress on the floor. That gives us a lot of bed real estate but it is easy for me to roll from my bed to hers so that we can wake up together.

The added benefit of the mattress on the floor, as far as I'm concerned, is that it makes it much more comfortable and convenient for me to give her oral sex as any bits of my body that don't fit on the mattress can just spread on to the floor.

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A female reader, chigirl Norway +, writes (8 July 2010):

chigirl agony auntA last comment on sleeping arrangements. I take ages to fall asleep, sometimes I lay in bed for an hour before I doze off. My boyfriend falls asleep almost as soon as his head hits the pillow. Hence it is mostly me cuddling up to him while he is asleep.

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A female reader, chigirl Norway +, writes (8 July 2010):

chigirl agony auntMy honeymoon period... about a year perhaps? I have heard the "in love" and infatuation only lasts 6 months, but I am one of the few I guess who stay in love for a really long period of time.

As for sleeping arrangements, I like to cuddle up and sleep basically on top of my man. Then when I fall asleep I roll away in my sleep. Wake up in the middle of the night and cuddle up to him again. He on the other hand cuddles until he gets drowsy, then he rolls over and sleeps until morning.

A large bed is key for couples who need space while sleeping. It is a good thing to have even for those who like cuddles, because there will be days when you want more room to breathe. Then there will be other days when you feel cuddly again.

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A male reader, Fatherly Advice United States + , writes (8 July 2010):

Fatherly Advice agony auntI've been spending most every night with my current partner since 1987. When we were in the Honeymoon phase we would fall asleep cuddled or spooned often. I would say that went on for about 2 years. We both got a lot of comfort from it. We never woke up in the same position. I'm quite a restless sleeper. I would say in the past year we have gone to sleep like that once and woke up spooned maybe 3 times. But we work and sleep on different schedules now.

As much as we are a touchy couple, We both like to sleep near the edge of the bed. So we often go to sleep back to back on a king sized bed with enough room for another person in the middle. We are actually hoping that our next mattress upgrade will bring us together more often.

My advice to you is to get a king sized bed. Cuddle up to him until he falls asleep. Then do what I have done so often (even in the first 2 years), move into your sleeping position and fade into sleep.

FA

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A female reader, Blue Sahara  United States +, writes (8 July 2010):

Blue Sahara  agony auntI think for me the average honeymoon phase lasted probably 4 months to 1 year.

And we sleep on our own sides of the bed. At night or in the morning we cuddle depending on the day (meaning whether one of us has to jump up to go somewhere). And at night, cause I like to sleep like puppies all cuddled up together, I might sneak over to his side of the bed a little. But I sleep in about 100 different positions each night. So I don't think we could ever sleep spooning or anything.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (8 July 2010):

me and my bf change-we hug spooning till we get drowsy then move to spreading out either side of our king size bed i like you lie on my back spread out and he curls up facing the wall but we still hold hands lol :)

Hope that helps!

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