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Question for men: why is he acting like this?

Tagged as: Dating, Friends<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (29 July 2010) 3 Answers - (Newest, 29 July 2010)
A female United States age 41-50, anonymous writes:

ok so i would like some advice , from men please.

i have a few questions if you could kindly elaborate.

what does a man really mean when he says these things::

After a string of dates with someone, the following occures,

he is clearly interested, making statements such as, the girl turns him on, she is beautiful and on his wavelength, he hopes in the future something more will come to pass they have a connection.sex is not in the equasion at all by the way.

Suddenly a change occures, hes still interested , but feels messed up from previous relationships and only wants to be "friends" with the girl after building her hopes up.

The friendship continues until contact becomes minimal for a while.

Then friendship becomes tense as guy begins discussing his dating with other people, making himself sound extremely easy sexually in what he has been doing.

Girl is not impressed, wonders if could be trying to make her jelous or put her off.

Girl suggests meeting again, guy thinks she is better than to be easy and deserves better than that.

Guy thinks girl can do better than him and thinks he is not good enough although guy says he is tempted.

girl is now confused, is he asking her to fight for him, to maybe feed his ego.....or is a hint to bin her off?

Girl thinks he could clearly not be interested, but guy has not actually said that and does remain contact, why remain contact if not interested?

Let me know what you think thankyou

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A male reader, TimmD United States +, writes (29 July 2010):

TimmD agony auntI think the layout of the post is confusing people. Here's what I got out of it:

- You met a man and things were hot and heavy (without sex)

- All of a sudden the man you met cooled off blaming previous relationships telling you he thinks you deserve better.

- He says he only wants to be friends, barely talking to you

- While you are friends with this guy he tells you about other dates he is having, thus making you jealous.

- Since he says he is dating, you ask him out on a date and he again makes you believe that you deserve better

How did I do? Sound right? If it is, then he's trouble. Without a doubt. You do not want a relationship with this guy no matter what, so stay away from him. If how I understood you is correct, then he has all kinds of problems including self esteem and commitment issues. No matter how hot and heavy it was, it will not work. This is who he is. Walk away.

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A male reader, Fatherly Advice United States + , writes (29 July 2010):

Fatherly Advice agony auntI had to re read that after editing out all the girls responses.

Lets clean it up and reexamine.

He says he want to move forward in the relationship.

He hints that sex is available.

He decides to just be friends.

Now is it simple to understand?

He told you what he wanted, You said no, he lost interest.

Why he is still hanging around is because he is not a player. He is just hoping you will come around. A player would be off to the next target.

FA

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (29 July 2010):

It sounds like he is a player. He first showers you w/attention and then backs off. Ussual players behavour.Don't think twice of him, not worth your time.

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