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Question for ladies: Is this letter OK sounding?

Tagged as: Friends, Love stories<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (21 July 2010) 11 Answers - (Newest, 21 July 2010)
A male United Kingdom age 36-40, *enxee writes:

OK question for ladies.....

I've loved this girl for soo long and im moving on. We were really close etc but i kno nothing is gonna happen. Long history which i wont go into but we met up recently and i just feel the need to send this... let me know if its a good idea or not!

Dear xxx,

"Let no-one who loves be called unhappy. Even love unreturned has its rainbow"

James Matthew Barrie

Seeing a smile on your face has always been my rainbow.

I hope with all my heart that you have the wonderful and happy life that you deserve.

Love Always........

I really want to send this should I!?

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A female reader, OhGetReal United States +, writes (21 July 2010):

OhGetReal agony auntIt's the LOVE ALWAYS that would make me think you had a crush on me but were too wimpy to fight for me and I wouldn't be impressed...at least that was my attitude as a 20 something female who didn't know what I wanted, but the assertive guys were the ones who got me.

I think you perhaps try dating out of your age group, someone older would understand your sensitive nature a lot more and find you sweet, not creepy...just a thought.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (21 July 2010):

Melodramatic and it's gonna creep her out.

Just stay prideful, act confident, and go on your own way. Joke about how if the guy she's with "flinches", you'll be right there but make sure you say it in a way that's joking and she knows you kinda don't mean it (you are not trying to convince her that you'll be there, just that you are not looking for a friend).

Then get the eff away, move on. That's the best way to preserve your chance of second try later and to avoid being friend-zoned.

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A female reader, gillb9501 United States +, writes (21 July 2010):

well, if you loved this girl for so long, she would understand about how you feel. you just have to let her down slowly, and tell her how you feel, about everything

and just ask to be friends with her still, if you still want her in your life? good luck, i hope i helped

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A female reader, gillb9501 United States +, writes (21 July 2010):

well, if you loved this girl for so long, she would understand about how you feel. you just have to let her down slowly, and tell her how you feel, about everything

and just ask to be friends with her still, if you still want her in your life? good luck, i hope i helped

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A male reader, denxee United Kingdom +, writes (21 July 2010):

denxee is verified as being by the original poster of the question

i want to send her this to say goodbye tbh. i just want to end things on really good terms but do not want to upset her in any way.

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A female reader, OhGetReal United States +, writes (21 July 2010):

OhGetReal agony auntDid you already have a talk with her about your feelings and that you are going to move on with your life? If not the letter doesn't make sense to me, but it sounds like goodbye.

I could see sending it if you were moving away and would definately not be seeing her again...but if you will see her again then the letter isn't really necessary.

If you want to go out with her, have you asked her to? Does she even know how you feel about her?

If you want to send her that note, wait until her Birthday and send it in a birthday card...to send it out of the blue is sweet, but she may just be confused by it.

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A male reader, Danielepew Mexico +, writes (21 July 2010):

Danielepew agony auntI agree with q1605 1605 times.

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A male reader, Odds United States +, writes (21 July 2010):

Odds agony auntRule of thumb: would you be comfortable if all your friends, all her friends, and all you future girlfriends saw the letter? If so, send it. Otherwise, don't bother with a letter at all.

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A female reader, Nannysgirl Canada +, writes (21 July 2010):

I know I'm a bit younger than you but I say that you should because any girl would be lucky to be loved by someone as lovely as you seem to be. Also in the future if you don't send it you willspend a long time wondering what if I had. Hope I helped even a little bit.

Even if it doesn't work out with this girl there are a million who will love and appreciate you and you shall love back

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A male reader, AnxiousBoyfriend United States +, writes (21 July 2010):

And I know I'm not a lady. But I couldn't help but answer this one as I've had a similar situation.

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A male reader, AnxiousBoyfriend United States +, writes (21 July 2010):

If you honestly, 100% mean what you say when you say you hope "you have the wonderful and happy life that you deserve," and are doing it to move on with your life and need to show her that you are moving on with your life... then it might be ok. That is IF you have absolutely none of the "I hope she reads this and comes confessing her love to me" kind of thoughts. Look DEEP down and ask yourself why you really would want to send her that. If it's because you want her to respond, then it may be a bad idea as you're setting yourself up to be heart broke if she doesn't.

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