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Problems from my past are affecting sex and love in the present!

Tagged as: Dating, Health, Sex, The ex-factor, Troubled relationships, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (27 December 2013) 1 Answers - (Newest, 28 December 2013)
A female Ireland age 51-59, anonymous writes:

my man would like to have sex with lights on and be able to see me naked ,but I don't have any confidance in how I look I am 45 but am a size 10 ,but have issues from a rape yrs ago and in my marrage when I tried to spice things up in bedroom dept my husband just reinforced my insecuritys I had about my body ,now with my great man and everything is really gd except for the naked issue I feel totally embarrised and desgusted by my body and wot he see,s with lights on can you advice me on how to start dealing with me and changing my image I have of my body I feel lost and don't know the first step to take to help me deal with my issues as they are holding me back from experianceing all of me and him in this relationship

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A male reader, rcn United States +, writes (28 December 2013):

rcn agony auntIf he were to have the issues that you have, what would you tell him? Bodies are bodies, and although you've had bad things happen to you in the past, those things don't change your body, or the attraction that someone else may have to you. You must come to realize that you're still worth it, no matter what your past holds. Live in the relationship in the moment, without the past dictating who you two are together.

I think you need to treat yourself to a spa day and be pampered for the day. Get your hair done, and maybe a new outfit. If you feel good about who you are, you'll feel more comfortable when you're with someone. I want you to also to keep reminding yourself that even tho bad things happened to you, that you still love you, and who you are. The more you remind yourself of your importance, the more you'll begin living within that love for yourself. I hope this helps. Take care.

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