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Pregnant with his baby and he's cheated on me! He's only with me for the baby. Should I move on? Or forgive?

Tagged as: Breaking up, Cheating, Dating, Pregnancy, Sex, Troubled relationships, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (11 April 2008) 7 Answers - (Newest, 11 April 2008)
A female United Kingdom age 36-40, anonymous writes:

Ok So Im 7 months pregnant and my boyfriend has cheated on me. I feel so hurt and angry. He has told me that he has relly strong feelings for the other woman. And He is only staying with me for the baby. All I do is cry and I dont eat. He calls me a selfish cow and do i even love this baby! I dont know wat to do? What should i do forgive him so my baby has a dad? Or move on and try and do it on my own? I really do love him but I But I dont want the baby to be the only reason. Will end up resenting the baby? please sorry its really long.

View related questions: cheated on me, move on

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A female reader, lotsofgiggles123 United States +, writes (11 April 2008):

lotsofgiggles123 agony auntyou should probably leave him he has no roght to call you names at the time when you have a baby maybe your family could help maybe you should ask if you could move in with them

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A female reader, xapathyxrebornx United Kingdom +, writes (11 April 2008):

xapathyxrebornx agony auntpersonally i think you should leave him and focus upon yourself and your child...not eating because of him WONT help!

Your going to be stressed enough you dont need this. Dump his un sorry arse.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (11 April 2008):

It's at times like this you need the support of your family. They're probably the only people you can rely on at the moment.

So he's only staying with you for the baby - that's big of him. I suppose he's being honest, which can only be a good thing, because you're in no doubt where you stand in his life. Staying with someone 'for the sake of the kids' is absolutely the worst reason for being with someone. If you were to ask my kids, they'd tell you the same.

I can't really see why he would call you selfish, but I can see every reason for you to call him selfish. He puts you up the duff and then spreads himself around a bit more. What a gallant young man he is!

Whether you forgive him or not will have no bearing on whether he'll be a dad to the baby - he'll always be the biological dad, but whether he'll act like a proper dad is an entirely different matter. Time will tell on that.

I'm sure you'll love the baby to bits, but I think you're going to have to look to the future as a single mother, for the time being at least. If he decides to involve himself with you and the baby you can look on that situation as a bonus. He's obviously not interested in you and cares little for your feelings if he blatantly goes off with another woman at what should be a joyous time for you both.

My gut feeling is that he's an insensitive moron who's got bored with you now you're pregnant and you'd be a lot better off without him in your life. What you must do is ensure he makes a proper financial contribution towards his child when it arrives.

Finally, eat properly. If you want to harm yourself and the baby, starving yourself is a very good way of doing it.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (11 April 2008):

He doesn't think enough of you and is only making you miserable. Dump him and get support from your family and friends with the baby.

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A female reader, Fairy_Lu United Kingdom +, writes (11 April 2008):

Fairy_Lu agony auntHe cheated on you and loves another women he isnt worth veing upset over he is a worthless useless loser who has no idea how lucky he. He isnt worth crying over you need to eat for yourself and this baby he isnt worth any of this, dont stay with him for the babies sake just let him see the baby and thats it if he wants to be with someone else let him be with her and realise his own mistake.

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A female reader, sadeyes United Kingdom +, writes (11 April 2008):

You need to move on for your health and your baby's future.If this guy is cheating on you just now,imagine what he is capable of when the baby is born.I'm sorry to be blunt,but he cant have any respect for you to do this.

Save yourself any further pain and concentrate on just being the best mum there is

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A female reader, angelina-katey United States +, writes (11 April 2008):

angelina-katey agony auntu should leave hes ass sweety he don't luv u and when the baby comes u going to fight around the baby and this is bad for u and the baby just let hem go please don't let hem hurt u more make a choise go .

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