A
female
age
30-35,
*hina_elephant
writes:This is a rather difficult situation but I shall try my best to explain and sorry if it turns into a rant. I have a lot of pent up AHHH to get out.My boyfriend and I have been going out since the end of January. We started talking about having a baby and he was over the moon excited and fully for it. I found out I was pregnant and his first reaction was "im a little bit interested but I hadnt even told my mum we were trying." I dont get why he needed his mothers permission but further more it reminded me of when I was 19. When I was 19 I got pregnant [the condom split] and my boyfriend of the time left me and there were complications which led me with little options and I felt the only solution was to have a termination. My current boyfriend knows about this and his reaction reminded me of that time, it really took me back there.Also he keeps applying for jobs and not getting any interviews but doesnt seemed fussed. The one interview he got for yesterday he didnt even go to. I went to the excited lengths of telling everyone via all methods possible [phone, face to face, text, facebook] in fact my facebook is covered in how excited I am and there is nothing on his at all. He didnt even drive down to see me when I told him and when I spoke to him about this and he did drive down he might as well have not bothered. He came down to tell me how excited he was but his tone was so dull and there was an obvious awkward feeling between us. Also not everyone has been so supportive and so I asked my boyfriend for some space to think about everything that he said "he accepted but would still text and phone" which is smothering me now. Every time I look at my phone there is some childish text from him. His reactions are not what I or anyone who knows him expected and now I'm starting to think it would be best, even if its just for now, to go it alone. I know I've been stupid getting into this situation but I want to stand up to the mark and do what's best for me and my baby.Any advice would be great and Im so sorry this was so long.Also I am 23 but I run my own business and so money is not a problem.
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reader, anonymous, writes (18 August 2011): I think you need to sit down and have an honest conversation with your boyfriend. Ask him how he really feels, and to be honest with you. The idea of having a baby is wonderful, but when it actually becomes a reality, it can be frightening. Talking to him will help you sort out how he's feeling so you have a better understanding of the situation. It could be he's truly unexcited or incredibly nervous or is excited but doesn't know how to take care of a child.If he truly is faking his excitement and couldn't be more displeased, you have to evaluate the value of continuing your relationship with him. You say money isn't an issue, so you'll probably be fine raising your baby alone. Sometimes that's the best thing to do for both of your happiness.If he's just feeling nervous or unsure, help educate him on raising a child. He might not know the first thing about it. Learning and having an understanding is sure to quell some fears.Best of luck! Let us know what happens!
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