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GrantRichardson
writes:Every thing I see and every body I talk to keeps on telling us young people how natural masturbating while watching porn is. But what I am here to say is "no".I believe that doing the aforementioned thing is bad. Now I'm not saying masturbation is bad, but that it is wrong and unnatural to watch whores that will do anything to make some money, just so you can get your moment of pleasure.Don't any of you adults remember when you where kids and watched porn? It felt wrong, didn't it? But you were addicted and the more you watched the more you didn't feel bad about doing it until finally you thought it was ok.I bet quite a few of you can't even get horny unless you watch porn. I realized what was happening to me and stopped masturbating with porn a month ago. I feel much better, it feels as if a weight has been lifted of my shoulders.So in closing I say to you people out there porn is like drugs. It is very addicting and can mess up your life. If you can stop then do so before its too late.
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drugs, horny, money, porn Reply to this Article |
You can add your comments or thoughts to this article A
female
reader, just2love + ♥, writes (15 August 2008):
Omg! i completly agree! thats all i have to say
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reader, WizardOfWaz  + ♥, writes (28 July 2008):
 You have had over 40 replies on your article Grant which is the 2nd largest response rate for the whole of July. The norm for this month was 0-3 responses.
So you have done well to stimulate an interest here despite your young years. Is it not better to provoke an interesting debate and accept that this may invite criticism rather than be a repetitive bore that everyone just ignores?
Sticking to the issue will serve you better rather than whining on and on about those who disagree have some sort of personal grudge against you.
Regards
Waz
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reader, pepper27 + ♥, writes (28 July 2008):
 I just stumbled on your article hunny and I make no judgments sweetheart each to there own, The only thing that really got me was the word whore funny enough..I have no problem with anyone in life and will listen to anything anyone has to say with an open mind. But I for one do not assume people to be what they may just appear to be from a Pornographic magazine or d.v.d.. Mary Magdalene was said to be a prostitute, Also Mary is viewed as a highly respected disciple of Jesus. Now Im not very deeply religious hunny but I believe not to judge in life is the best way to live..You choose not to do something this is fine someone chooses to do this something then that to is fine, An open mind is a learning mind experiences in life will help you grow. If you dont agree with something you have a choice as to do it or not, But you cant expect others to agree and choose your way of thinking as everyone is unique, So why would anyone want to hate you love, You have a point and so do others in life, Who is to say who is right or wrong, No one I believe, There is truth in everything as everything has something to teach us...
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reader, Destiny28  +, writes (28 July 2008):
Everything is good in moderation and yes, you are completetly right that it can ruin a lot of things if it gets out of control and YES IT ACTS LIKE A DRUG for those who turn to it for peace, comfort and use it as an escape. My ex fiance was a porn addict and he withdrew himself from the world and lost himself and me in the turmoil. I couldn't do anything as I offered to get help with him etc nothing helped..we broke it off and haven't seen him since...he was too addicted and it took control of his life... PORN CAN BE LIKE A DRUG!!!! There is help out there!!!!
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reader, aphexinfinite +, writes (28 July 2008):
 its not a case of hating hun its a case of different views.. and the fact that you are young goes against your wisdom.. nothing saying your wrong about your views just no everyone is going to agree with you.. chin up pet have a good day aphex x
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reader, aphexinfinite +, writes (27 July 2008):
dont watch it personally but i agree their is no need for it and one must be desperate before not using their imagination aphex xx
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reader, q1605 +, writes (27 July 2008):
 AYE! an your a gentleman and a scholar. I should go easy on the boy now see'n he's just a cub. Sometimes I go off half cocked. And a top of the morning to ya laddie.
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reader, WizardOfWaz + ♥, writes (27 July 2008):
"waz aren't you the guy thats always pissing and moaning when somebody doesn't buck up and take things like a man. "Aye!"You seem to be repulsed by the whiners and belly achers of the 21st century and suggest that would have been better served with a bit of the privation that we formed of and by the 20th century endured."Yep!"So why are you so protective of this guy who seems to be fairly able to fight his own fights."He sure is."If he isn't up to fighting the adult fight, then he should stay off the adults turf. Instead of running out and taking shots, he spent no small amount of time formulating, and then running and hiding behind your skirt. Um cape"Okay point taken. I'm not above kicking cheeky arse myself so it is a bit hypocritical of me to lecture others on the subject. Fair enough. My apologies Q1605. By the way it is a ROBE, not a skirt or cape. The difference is crucial in terms of the amount of rent I can charge to those squatting beneath it.RegardsWaz
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reader, q1605 +, writes (27 July 2008):
waz aren't you the guy thats always pissing and moaning when somebody doesn't buck up and take things like a man. You seem to be repulsed by the whiners and belly achers of the 21st century and suggest that would have been better served with a bit of the privation that we formed of and by the 20th century endured. So why are you so protective of this guy who seems to be fairly able to fight his own fights. If he isn't up to fighting the adult fight, then he should stay off the adults turf. Instead of running out and taking shots, he spent no small amount of time formulating, and then running and hiding behind your skirt. Um cape
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reader, WizardOfWaz + ♥, writes (27 July 2008):
Q1605-I would not only box your own ears for threatening a 12 year-old lad with violence but would also push your silly head into a bucket of camel pee just for my own amusement.
Grant Richardson's opinions has to be tempered with the knowledge that we are all ex 12-year-olds. Therefore we either debate an almost excact mirror of our own past failings or push on with the immaturity of those who have never learned any wisdom whatsoever from our own youthful experiences.
Regards
Waz
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reader, q1605 +, writes (27 July 2008):
Sorry .. its just Grants pontificating on the morality, or lack, of behind porn, is like listening to a house plant explaining the reasonings and motivations for the two and four legged animals that walk past it each day. And that he trolls out half way through. I'd like to box his impertinent ears.
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reader, WizardOfWaz + ♥, writes (27 July 2008):
I don't mind in the least that you have introduced a contentious subject here Grant. I honestly believe that far from "hating" you, most of us are actualy pleased that you brought something up that stimluated a little life into the otherwise humdrum and repetitive world of Dear Cupid.
You provoked debate and that is never a bad thing in my book anyway.
Keep up the good work lad. :^)
Regards
Waz
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reader, saltwater + ♥, writes (27 July 2008):
 Wow, this thread has taken on a moody persona.
Grant, the short story is that your opinions may change as you get older.
But even if they don't, that doesn't mean that the people who think otherwise are "wrong".
Peoples different opinions is what makes life rich and diverse. If everyone had the same opinion and same political ideology then Earth would be the most boring place in the Universe.
You don't need to agree with that different opinion; but you need to acknowledge that people will have a different opinion.
And if they do, well, so what?
Life ain't gunna come to an end because of it.
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reader, q1605 +, writes (27 July 2008):
I'm glad that grant there got fast tracked through hard knocks and life experience and can identify that porn above all other issues is the one unresolved and needs the most attention. The authority you speak with is compelling. Since you've handled the messier issues you could shed this light of all knowing on the other things the unwashed encounter daily. Tell us how to handle cheating spouses, pregnant daughters, sons who enlist in the army and you don't find out till they are shipping to boot camp and then on to Iraq. How did you handle signing a do not resuscitate order for an elderly relative that raised you as if they were your parent but are now languishing on the brink of death. What about the folks who come into your business for the sole purpose of robbing you and in the process hurt themselves and you are having to defend yourself in court. I just want to know how this guy zipped his life up so neatly that he can focus this amount of energy on us wanking neer do wells
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reader, troubledtoomuch + ♥, writes (26 July 2008):
 Grant Richardson: “Don't any of you adults remember when you where kids and watched porn?”
No, I don’t, because I didn’t start watching porn until I was 18 years old. Sure, I masturbated before that, but it was mainly because it felt good. Porn when I was 18 was Playboy magazine. I started to view explicit porn a couple of years later.
“I bet quite a few of you can't even get horny unless you watch porn.”
Wrong again. I can more easily get horny fondling my wife, looking at a fully dressed sexy woman or just thinking about having sex with a long past girlfriend who was good than I can with porn. Porn is just another sexual stimulant.
“But you were addicted and the more you watched the more you didn't feel bad about doing it until finally you thought it was ok.”
I never felt bad about it and I have never been addicted to it. I watch it occasionally on average, sometimes every day and sometimes not for a month. Most times alone and sometimes with my wife.
“So in closing I say to you people out there porn is like drugs. It is very addicting and can mess up your life.
If you can stop then do so before its too late.”
It has really messed up my life. I’m 63 and my wife and I still have good sex most every day. I still enjoy sex with her much more than masturbating to porn. I still spend more time on making sure that she is enjoying the sex then I spend on making sure that I am enjoying it. Of course, at my age, wasting good sex on masturbation is not something that I do. Four times a day is a long gone dream.
“For a time I enjoyed porn but I always felt wrong in the back of my mind and after quitting I realise how wrong it is.”
At the age of 12, you are so correct that it is wrong.
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reader, troubledtoomuch + ♥, writes (26 July 2008):
Oh, let's vote to see how many adults hate this little immature child. Tell you what. Take about 10 or more years to grow up and talk like an adult and then come back and discuss your views. They may very well be the same as they are now, but at least you will hopefully be able to discuss them in an intellegent manner.
I'll give you credit for one thing though. You stopped viewing porn. Well, hell, you should not be watching porn at the age of 10 to 12 to begin with.
We all have differing views on things, porn included. We can present our views and try to help people. Watching porn, being gay, etc. is a personal choice. As long as it does not hurt other people then it is not a problem. If I watch porn and masturbate when my wife doesn't want sex, then there is nothing wrong with that. My wife completely agrees, as she would rather have me not bother her for sex in those rare occasions. Porn is fantasy. If you are totally against porn, then you should also be against fantasizing about sex in your own mind. You should also be against fantasizing about having sex with a female friend. Actually, that is probably worse than fantasizing about having sex with a porn actress, as you are in a way violating the trust of a friend.
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reader, GrantRichardson +, writes (26 July 2008):
GrantRichardson is verified as being by the original poster of the question tell you what....loading.....loading.....Lets have a vote how many of you hate me now 1 for yes 2 for no.and if you do hate me your pathetc cause im 12 and dont know anything.teheheahahhoho.
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reader, GrantRichardson +, writes (26 July 2008):
GrantRichardson is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI dont even care anymore people ae just starting to repeat what they said before in a more rude way.I guess I reply to one more question.(BigSis).how does any kid find porn you here some one talking about in on the radio or you get a pop up.or you go to a website that advertises it.Im sorry but im not going to reply any more.Sex does not even matter to me its love that counts and frankly im tired of every thing related to sex.im just going to play games all day.sweet mind numing games.
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reader, GrantRichardson +, writes (26 July 2008):
GrantRichardson is verified as being by the original poster of the questionhay DiovanLestat thats what i said.
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reader, BigSis + ♥, writes (26 July 2008):
 Grant, What I'd like to know is, how have you, as a '12 yr old', managed to get access to porn sites? Do your parents even know?
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reader, mamasaidknockyouout +, writes (25 July 2008):
and I knew you were going to be so typical about gays. I've debated for gays in school and won all of them so here we go, ignorant little boy."Finaly gays need to recruit people they cant have babys so thats when it starts to get bad they will go after your kids.so will aminal sex people eventualy they too will be going after your kids.If we tolerate this of corse they will come out of the bed rooms."what the hell are you talking about they will go after your kids?I'm not gay but yah I do feel offended for these overlooked people.there are a lot of straight couples who choose not to have kids for personal reasons. so that is no excuse for gays not to have the same right.plus there are a lot of kids up for adoption, that of which gays adopt. but yah there are straight couples who adopt, again for personal reasons.like you said, you're only twelve. you're super ignorant so don't adress issues you don't know a whole lot about.
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reader, mamasaidknockyouout +, writes (25 July 2008):
")I never said not to masterbate.But looking at ladies doing anything you want to see is wrong.and no I masterbate all the time just not to porn.and unlike most of you I have a imaginatio. and its not like anything you say is going to offend me."you acted like you thought people were trying to offend you.televison isn't natural.the internet isn't natural.plastic surgery isn't natural.half of peoples' haircolor isn't natural.a lot of dogs we have aren't natural.do you know how much stuff isn't natural and you choose porn to nag about?and I think its super judgemental to call these people whores.
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reader, Fade878  +, writes (25 July 2008):
 I hear what you are saying.
Those who do evil or are dishonest, lose the ability to know right from wrong.
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reader, DiovanLestat +, writes (25 July 2008):
 "Did you know that alought of civilizations started out from the opinion that gays and people doing disgusting sexual stuff with aminals.would be thrown out of the town..."
Like who, the Egyptian Civilization, the Roman Civilization or the Greek Civilization. I know your only 12, but you need a lesson in history to back up your statements.
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reader, saltwater + ♥, writes (25 July 2008):
The short story is, as WizardOfWaz points out, that porn is a way of visually portraying natural sex acts that have occured since, well, time began.
So you have seen someone have anal sex in porn. Millions of people...hell, animals as well, have anal sex every day; the only difference is you don't see it.
I have to say though WizardOfWaz, it's pretty bad if people can't get a real woman, but how f*cked are you if can't get a real *sheep*? :P
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reader, GrantRichardson +, writes (25 July 2008):
GrantRichardson is verified as being by the original poster of the questionFor a time I enjoyed porn but I always felt wrong in the back of my mind and after quitting I realise how wrong it is.Its not like I started watching porn from the point of vew you stated.Did you know that alought of civilizations started out from the opinion that gays and people doing disgusting sexual stuff with aminals.would be thrown out of the town.and as every culture progesses they become more pasive about gays exc.until finaly people arnt doing it in the privet of there one home any more they begun to throw praides to show of there gayness because thats all they have left they dont have dignety they dont have a thing that tells them right from wrong.and did you know that the beguning of the end of all nations is when people like gays exc. have sex in the streets.Finaly gays need to recruit people they cant have babys so thats when it starts to get bad they will go after your kids.so will aminal sex people eventualy they too will be going after your kids.If we tolerate this of corse they will come out of the bed rooms.
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reader, WizardOfWaz + ♥, writes (25 July 2008):
What is the unatural part of porn? Unless I've missed something, there is rarely a sexual act in porn that is not a copy of the vastly varying sexual practices the human species have been indulging in for 1,000's of years?
If couples (as well as singles) wish to use fantasy enhancements of whatever genre they prefer, then that is their perogative. To argue from a curtain-twitching view that private consensual indulgence is unhealthy or somehow immoral seems to be leaning more towards "unatural" (perverse even) than any porn flick might do.
Surely it is gross hypocrisy peering into peoples bedroom windows in order to be offended at what we see them doing? So what if they are dressed as a nun while masturbating to porn via humping a blow-up sheep? Whose business is it but their own?
Regards
Waz
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reader, GrantRichardson +, writes (25 July 2008):
GrantRichardson is verified as being by the original poster of the questioncrikey mate.now addresing your comments.lets begun I will start off with(lilacpilgrim)and work my way up.why porn is unnatural:unlike bullet proof vests or polyester porn is wrong.here is a example lets gow back to when there was no T.Vs or bullet proof vests.Lets say the king throws a party and has strippers and stuff like that.Its still unnatrual hes still gitting pleasure from a hore and lowering his morals.The only diffrence today is people think its more normal because your not actually standing infront of the persion.right?but it still has the same effects on your conscious.Now next is (Ask oldersister).Thanks for your comment you have my respect.Next is (saltwater).Just because they healp outher people does not make them good.hay hitler made classical music popular.some of the most evil people the world did good things but that doesnt make them good people.Next is (yos).I did not mean you.I was referring some one else.Next is (DiovanLestat).aaaaa my backs so stiff ok now to the question:)I am talking about magazines/videos.I have nothing against erotic literature.In fact I read a very good peace of It yesterday.as for art your too vague sorry.As for the natural thing over thousands of years.yes if it was way back you probibally would see your perents in bed.but did they have a choice? If they had more space then they would be in a diffren room.just because people had to do thing a certin way because things where harder to get done does not mean that what they where doing was natural.As fore getting marryed at 12 to 14.was Natural because for one they are getting marryed.two they have there perents permision and alought of the marriegs where setup with the perents before hand.after all most perents know there kid pritty well back then and should know how would sute them.As for now yes it its bad the way kid are soposed to be.I would prefer if kids did what they did back then.Moveing along to the ape subject I am not a evolutionist.But If I where then I would have to ask you this question.arnt we supposed to have evolved past all ape habits?and Yes we where born with out cloths so what in alought of places its too cold to go naked.and did you notice that all the places where they dont where cloths its always warm.And in the old testament what where they saying about the people that where have sex with everbody I bet they said that those people where bad.ya you can always take something in the bible out of context.if yo read my Article more closely you would see that actualy im stateing the fact that im not closed minded.Next is (mamasaidknockyouot).Im not offended Infact on my Article I said that I will not be offended by whatever anyone has to say and man your the one who sound all offended.and sorry my Article was soposed to be on a broder subject.I should have used diffrent phrasing.Insted of unnatural.But you cant blame me im just 12.Now if you will excuse me I have to go to bed because its not natural to stay up late.
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reader, DiovanLestat +, writes (24 July 2008):
"unlike most of you I have a imagination".... GrantRichardson.....
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reader, mamasaidknockyouout +, writes (24 July 2008):
no ones trying to offend you, its more of stop being so narrow-minded, grant. there are different people with different lifestyles in this world and you have to accept it.
like how to you feel about gays? about alcoholics and junkies? those are what some people call 'unnatural.'
I have no problems with gays and I think its natural, but that's besides the point.
as for junkies and what not, that's a way more big deal that's unnatural.
I don't understand why you feel so obligated to address such a tiny issue.
its only a problem if you excessively pay for it.
anywho. grow up because I'm sure there are things you do that many of us wouldn't 'approve of' according to morals and lifestyles.
muchos gracias.
"opinions are like asses - we all have one."
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reader, DiovanLestat +, writes (24 July 2008):
PS: It's not a very mature attitude to post an article, asking for debate about an issue, then saying your not listening and refuse to change your mind. What was the point of asking adults about their experience. If you think your gonna convince people to change when you refuse even listen and are very rude to boot, your gonna find yourself disappointed. Your on the wrong board for saving souls, this is Dear Cupid, a place for relationship advice and for intresting debates on sexual issues.
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reader, DiovanLestat +, writes (24 July 2008):
Yes Grant, thanks for posting such an interesting article. One of the problems I have is that we speak about "porn" without really defining what it is. Are we talking magazines and video's here, or are we talking about all the erotic literature and art available that turns people on.
The issue of natural is a red herring. It is only recently that the age of consent has been raised to 16, 18 or 21 in countries across the world. The natural thing, and I'm talking over thousands of years here, is that children would have been introduce to sex by living in small houses and watching their parents in bed. Natural, for most of mankinds history, natural was to marry at 12 and 14 and have sex. Ours is the one of thefirst generations to expect children not to work, not to have sex, and not to have independent income. What's natural about that.
We are the third ape, research by biologist have shown that chippanzees, gorillas and baboons get turned on by watching others have sex. Their favourite hobbies seems to be gossiping, having sex, and grooming themselves. Well that's seems natural too me. Go to many parts of the world and you will notice that traditional people do not wear clothes. We do, we cover ourselves up, but that's not natural, we weren't born that way.
People take the victorian era as a starting point, we are the grandchildren of some very messed up, hypocritical people, who were repressed about sex. Go back a little further, read some Shakespear and you'll find ton's of jokes about sex.
The history of sex, sexual practices from across the world, pornography and erotica is one of my favourite subjects to study in depth. Even in the bible, especially the old testament people are having sex all over the place with the wrong people.
Sure at the moment our current views about sexuality and the porn that develops from it, is unhealthy. But people need to look wider, we need to explore just what it means to be a healthy, sexual, third ape creature in the 21st century world.
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reader, Yos  + ♥, writes (24 July 2008):
 Lilac: I didn't say porn is bad because it's unnatural. All I said is that you can't say porn is good because it is natural (see the first line of the article).
Many people justify porn by saying "don't worry it's perfectly natural". I think that is mistaken. It's a human invention, like the car, the television, and the internet. And, like those human invention, has the distinct capability to be bad for us in certain situations.
Many people seem unwilling to entertain the idea that porn could be bad at all. It's a relatively new arrival, so that's not surprising. Most new inventions (car, TV, cigarettes...), are unregulated to start with and seen as perfectly benign. Then, once their effects become better known, they become regulated.
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reader, saltwater + ♥, writes (24 July 2008):
"different strokes for different folks" lol, I like that.It didn't feel wrong when I saw porn at a young age...quite the opposite!Yes, there is a lot of porn around nowadays...but it's not for the fun of it though is it...it's to make money; which it certainly does.These "whores" don't make "some" money, they makes lots of money. You may also be interested to know that some female pornstars have other jobs; one is a trained nurse who is known to have saved a persons life -- some whore!Of course young people shouldn't be introduced to porn at a young age or they will expect every girlfriend to take a violent anal session.I always go by the over 21 rule; once you're that age, you can truly do anything...watch any type of porn, backchat your parents, play music loud to annoy neighbours, mouth strangers back etc.I'm over 21, so I watch porn. And I enjoy it. I don't feel ashamed. Nor am I addicted.Swings and roundabouts. Some like porn, some don't.It's like everything in life.
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reader, Ask oldersister +, writes (24 July 2008):
 lilacpilgram, who is to say technology has changed our lives for the better? I don't think it has. Also, your logic doesn't make sense but most miscalculated leaps in logic don't.
Yos is right. It's not natural for a kid to look at porn and can actually contribute to sex addiction and warped views on sex if introduced at too young of an age. That's not some opinion I came up with, psychologists have found a statistically significant correlation between porn and future sex addiction in youngsters.
Thank you for the article, GrantRichardson, we need more integrity in this world. You have my respect.
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reader, lilacpilgrim +, writes (24 July 2008):
 In response to Yos, what you said is contradictive. Porn = bad because it is unnatural and a recent invention. So is the internet, it's incredibly unnatural, just like polyester and bulletproof vests. So why are you even here?
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reader, GrantRichardson +, writes (24 July 2008):
GrantRichardson is verified as being by the original poster of the questionIm not going to change anything.Or at least im not going to change anything by most of your vews.but it could just be that some of you are fast readers especially (LazyGuy)I never said not to masterbate.But looking at ladies doing anything you want to see is wrong.and no I masterbate all the time just not to porn.and unlike most of you I have a imaginatio. and its not like anything you say is going to offend me.
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