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Please please help!!!!! Me and my close cousin are in love!

Tagged as: Big Questions, Family, Forbidden love, Sex, Teenage<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (11 October 2009) 6 Answers - (Newest, 3 November 2009)
A female United States age 41-50, *iteme202 writes:

Ok so I am a teenager... Just a teen, my cousin, who I've always had a huge crush on lives in ca and I live in florida... He and my uncle recently stayed at my grandmas house this summer for twomonths... I stayed with them... The whole time my uncle had his rv.... My gma had a room on the other side of the house whil me and my cousin had two rooms and one bathroom on the other side.... One day he slapped my butt... No big deal but then it turned into a thing... He would shove me grab me... We would watch "shop erotic" every nigt together and laugh we watched movies every night But even the first night he chose to be on the one couch with me when there is another..... His foot was like right on my buttcheek... I was wearin boxers... So I made a excuse saying I wanted water.. I got up went to the kitchen. As I was turned around.I felt him wrap his arms around me... I just hugged him... Then went to bed. He did to. In his room. Then. A few nights later my sister stays the night too. She is about six years old. Well we couldn't watch super bad with her... So I suggested we get in on netflix in my room. After gma is asleep. Well we watched it. I feal asleep woke up and he was gone.... The next night we watched two other movies... And this time I woke up he had me squeezed tightly against him. And my face was so close I was breathing his air..... The next night I woke up the same way but this time my lips were against his.... We began kisssing... And made out he then started massaging my boobs and fealing my vagina.... With my shorts on. But... I liked this. It wasn't against my will. Then the next might we moved into his bed room with no movie we slept together set the alarm clock for three... And mess around till seven... He would finger me I would suck his penis. He would take my clothes off I would take his.... This went on for a very long time. We have so much in common we are like the same person... I like him so much after he left we were both upset so he got me a plane ticket to go stay with him in ca that he bought.... There we were in bed ever nigt and during the day....I only stayed a week. He said he wanted to have sex with me. But didn't becahse he doesn't want me to get pregnat....we tell each other we love each other and we are very open. We talk every day for at least an hour. II have been speaking to him about me getting my own place close to him.... He wants me to... But idk what to say to my family...... I want him so bad. It's so wrong. And idk.

View related questions: boobs, cousin, crush, moved in, vagina

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A reader, anonymous, writes (3 November 2009):

well i am in a situation similiar to urs. i think if u really love him go for it and dont let anybody stop love is love and it is never wrong ok so if he feels the same for u then u should move closer to him a d keep on dating. try not to let anybody know and let ur family know later in life because if u tell them now theres gona be more problems. good luck and hope u both will be together

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A reader, anonymous, writes (11 October 2009):

Copy and paste this: http://www.cousincouples.com/?page=states

Looks like both California and Florida state laws allow cousin relationships. Have a look around the rest of the site too. There's lots of information there to dispel all the misinformation flying around about this subject.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (11 October 2009):

Chances are what you are doing with him is against the law. As a general rule don't look for a date with someone that you would see at a family reunion! I know you care for him but he is family.

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A male reader, greg290352 United Kingdom +, writes (11 October 2009):

greg290352 agony auntI am also very close to my female cousin although we both have partners. A lot depends on the law where you live. In the UK there is no barrier to cousins marrying for example. Also the risk of any birth defects, if you have a baby, is small. An estimated 4% as against 2% for unrelated couples who have a child.

I think that many cousins are close. In my opinion I would do what makes you both happy but avoid having any kids until you are ready to do so.

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A male reader, Dr. John United States +, writes (11 October 2009):

Dr. John agony auntYou are getting deep into a situation you may want to avoid.

Before you go any further with this you must check the laws pertinent to the states you may live in. The laws on incest are almost as varied as there are states. However, one law encyclopedia says:

"The proscribed degrees of incest vary among the different statutes. Some include parent and child, brother and sister, uncle and niece, or aunt and nephew, and first cousins. In addition, intermarriage and sexual relations are also frequently prohibited among individuals who are related by half-blood, including brothers and sisters and uncles and nieces of the half-blood."

If you will be living in a state where a relationship of this sort is prohibited you could both open yourselves up to felony charges, not to mention any other problems that may come up in the event that you get pregnant.

I am aware that you have a very strong connection with him at this point but you must take a realistic view of this situation and decide if it will even be a viable one from all points of view.

Realize too that if you continue to get closer with him without looking at all the angles first, you may find later that you have no choice but to separate and that would be all the more painful to the both of you.

I really do hope you will find that you can find an equitable course for the both of you. Do the research. As I said before, the laws are different for every state, but don't leave the parents out of this either. I don't know what your parents are like with you but I do know that if my daughter had come to me with this sort of problem she and I would have sat and examined it through to find the best solution. I feel for you and again I hope it all works out for you. Doc

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A male reader, Heartbroken in love United States +, writes (11 October 2009):

wow you are in pretty deep here. is he a first cousin? ok I myself would never get involved with some1 I called a cousin on any level. for ur situation I will say if he is less than a first cousin than it mite be ok but be aware you still face fall out with your families if you decide to take this further. your families most likely will not approve of this. you have to be aware of all the consequences b4 proceeding. if he is a first cousin well I really do suggest you find a way to quickly get over it. good luck

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