A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hi, have a question my girlfriend of six months sent me this email the other day.what should I think of this.I care for her deeply.(I'm not sure where I'm going with this, but when I ask for time to get my thoughts and feelings inline, that's pretty much what I intend to do. You had said in one of your text messages that I can talk to you about anything, is that really true? Getting up and leaving at 4:30 in the morning kinda shut me down, if I had done that, you would have been equally upset, if not more so. When you left, it hit me the wrong way, but I took that as an invitation to get my feelings sorted out. I can't go on acting like there isn't something wrong with me when it comes to us, I wanted to be alone to figure this out. You aren't making that easy. I've been so busy taking care of everyone else and their feelings that I haven't had time just for me. I need that right now! It's not that I don't care, it's just that I don't know how much I'm ready to commit to this relationship right now.)please help with answering this question(Mod Note - OP's own title)
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 January 2010): .... You got up and left at 4.30 in the morning and she is upset? I guess.
So if you had valid reasons, apologise.
I think its slowly getting to be the time when you have the talk - she needs to think about where its going and all that.
So reassure her that she can take time out and think. Let her know in a few words why you left or at least that you are sorry that she felt hurt etc. Then leave her alone for a few days.
Can't give more advise on just a letter :)
A
female
reader, Risingfromashes +, writes (23 January 2010):
What? That's her email? What's this about 4:30 in the morning? It sounds like she's being honest about feeling confused and overwhelmed with taking care of what other people want when she really just wants space. She doesn't know what she wants and seems to feel like you are demanding that she does, even if you are sweetly suggesting that you "just want to know if you care.." or whatever, she does but doesn't know how much. It probaby means she didn't expect to have strong feelings for you but now is, or maybe she simply is feeling rushed for some reason. Either way she's stressed. You can only ask once what's wrong, after that you just have to give her her space! Best wishes!
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