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Please help! So confused because I'm in love with my second cousin ..

Tagged as: Dating, Family<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (9 July 2010) 5 Answers - (Newest, 12 July 2010)
A female India age 30-35, ***anonymus*** writes:

all these days i was totally keeping this with myself, say for ten long years... now i feel little relaxed that its not only me who feels this but there are so many ppl... i just wanna know, are these kinds of relationships just an attraction or can it be serious too... because i am very attracted to my second maternal cousin... even he likes me... we have shared a couple of kisses that's it... but we still are attracted... we thing and mostly we know that we love each other very much... but have decided to not to meet or talk and successfully we have ended up not talking for two years and 6 months, 10 days... but i still cant forget him and stop caring for him... i really love him... i am darn confused... can anything be done. i am attracted to him from say when i was 10 yr old... plz reply i have so many questions to ask?

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A male reader, 11muds11 Canada +, writes (12 July 2010):

I'm one who believes everything's a crush until it's fulfilled. Sometimes it's normal to like someone you're not supposed to because it keeps us from growing up too fast. Because it won't be fulfilled, and therefore you won't get hurt by being let go of. And sometimes simply because he's there and there's no one else to give your heart to.

There's a reason you're on this board. Because you know something is not quite right and this is not working out. The relationship will be akward and will not grow properly. Then people can really get hurt.

Again, millions of people have been through the same thing you're going through, and have gone on to live normal happy lives. A friend of mine knows a brother and sister who went through this, and now laugh about it in their 70's. Your cousin is the one right now, because he was the only one around who made your heart flutter. It's just a crush if you let it be. Same old story.

You just have to meet more eligible guys, and that will happen naturally later. You haven't had a chance to expose your heart to someone who is not a relative. You'll meet that right guy, and this will be a memory. It'll take time for this feeling to go away for your cousin. In fact, some of it will never go away, and that will make a wonderful, memory.

I hope this helps. Good luck.

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A female reader, ***anonymus*** India +, writes (12 July 2010):

***anonymus*** is verified as being by the original poster of the question

so is it sure that its just a crush... nothing else...?!!!!!

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A female reader, ***anonymus*** India +, writes (12 July 2010):

***anonymus*** is verified as being by the original poster of the question

my mom's elder sister's son...

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A male reader, 11muds11 Canada +, writes (9 July 2010):

As somebody who was lucky enough to go to school in India, I see your point. One of the things that happens for girls is that they can be very well protected. I think this is good for a girl's heart, but can lead to some problems.

I think you've found one of those. The thing is here, I think, is that most girls have not been exposed to close relationships with boys outside your family. Your relationship is probably just a crush that happens to many girls because he's the one that's there. Maybe after a while, when you are exposed to more boys in a more personal setting, you will meet a boy and realize that this was just a part of your life before. It's no problem. I have a friend who's first kiss was her first cousin and she's gone on to live a happy healthy life....to a man who is not a family member. With no problems.

In some ways it's kinda sweet that this happened. I think you'll look back upon this as a nice memory.

I suspect that when you meet more men, this crush will go away naturally. Good luck.

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A male reader, TimmD United States +, writes (9 July 2010):

TimmD agony auntWhat is his EXACT relation to you? (mother's, uncle's, etc)

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