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Please help save my relationship!

Tagged as: Health, Sex, Troubled relationships, Trust issues, Virginity<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (9 October 2008) 3 Answers - (Newest, 12 October 2008)
A female India age 41-50, anonymous writes:

hi

pleasse help me to save my relationship

me and my fiancee are in relation since 5 years.

we are in to physical relation since 4 yrs.

we did oral sex a lot many times like on daily basis at times and even he tried inter course but some how i could allow him as it pained.

within these years i had gone through tensions and also joined aerobics i did gyming i did skipping and even jumping. but this year when he tried intercourse he could go in but it was painful but i didnt have any virgin seal. he told me that i lost my viriginity before. but thats not true i never did that with any one

please help please suggest

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (12 October 2008):

I understand that your problem is you want to have sex but it hurts too much, is that right?

Your problem could be that you still have a hymen (and it IS possible even if you've had intercourse before, mine didn't break even from 15 times of having sex so I broke it myself in the end to stop sex hurting all the time). I would poke around down there with my fingers, look with a mirror, see if you still have a hymen. Then you may be able to stretch the opening with your fingers.

On the other hand, you may just be feeling pain due to anxiety, which can really make your vagina tense up and give extreme pain. If this is the case, you need to do everything you can to relax. You need lots of foreplay too, use aromatherapy oils, whatever makes you feel calm. It goes without saying that if you're emotionally unhappy with your partner about something he's said you should not attempt sex.

I'd go and see a female doctor if I were you, or else a sex therapist. Above all, don't WORRY about this as it IS something you can sort out.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (10 October 2008):

Shats!I seriously wish we had sex education classes like they have in other countries. He tried a lot didn't he? Your hymen could have broken at that point. some virgins bleed some don't. If you are an athlete or into sports you may not have a hymen. If you are tensed and thinking about all these things how on earth will the sex be pleasurable. If all he has is suspicions that you are not a virgin how will he be able to please you. Sorry to say but I don't think jumping helps sex. Please both of you consult a sexologist and talk it out. He is much more likely to believe it from the doctor than you or me. Let us know how it goes. Take care. Please try practicing yoga. Definitely helps!!

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A reader, anonymous, writes (9 October 2008):

excercise can cause your hymann to break. or tampons. have sex more it gets better, and use lube it will make it much more comfortable.

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