A
female
age
30-35,
*ah
writes:there's this guy that I dated almost a month. we went to highschool together but we never talked . but we have mutual friends and that's how it all started. it started off as just hooking up and then I told him how I felt so he asked me out this is the first time I've actually been in a relationship with a black man I'm Salvadorian. I wasmt used to the way he handled the relationship as in not cuddling in public or holding hands so I will constantly tell him that he's not taking us serious I just felt like if it was a joke to him but he always told me it wasn't. so basically he ended it with me because of the same situation every time I will drink or actually get drunk is when I would vent out my feelings so little by little he said pulling away. since then we haven't been together as a couple but we still hangout hookup drink have a good time just recently a few days ago we kinda had a argument he was faded and I was buzzed and I felt like he was being rude. all I want is him back I want us to be together. I never had this feeling of excitement every time he would call me or invite me over what can I do to win him back. as for me I'm working on myself as well because I am part of the reason it happened. but the reality it's both what do I do to get him back please help. I don't love him but I really really like them I've only got to know him for a few months. please please please someone help me
View related questions:
drunk Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, chinana  +, writes (27 December 2012):
 You know there is no harm in taking things slow. Some guys are just not into public display of affection it could be a cultural/ thing. You mention that he is black, is he African or maybe religious? Culturally the really mature and serious guys are not keen on kissing and holding hands in public but they will show their affection in other ways i.e taking you out and paying for everything, they like to prove that they can take care of you. They also like to be the initiators and pursuers if they are considering you for a serious relationship.It just seems you want him to hold you in public so that it makes you feel more secure. Your drinking, getting drunk and then starting little arguments could be a turn off for any guy who might be considering you for a serious and meaningful relationship, its only been a month and already you are creating drama. Just take it easy OP dont put pressure on him, get to know each other first, hang out and have a good time, get comfortable with each other and eventually if its meant to be it will be and you will be holding hands in public when the time is right. Good luck OP.
A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (26 December 2012):
 Your last few sentences were confusing but I will assume you do love him. Some people don't like public displays of affection but I think the problem is deeper than that. Some black men get teased by dating women outside of their race, because they are supposed to act black. He is afraid that people will say he's showing off with a white/hispanic female. He is uncomfortable in his own skin and wants to hide the relationship. And then arguing over small things mean that you will always be that way. He is in conflict about what he wants at the same time worrying what others think.
You have to rethink why you want him back when he can't handle presenting you to the public. Even when you won him back all you could have is an underground relationship.
...............................
|
