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Please help me cope with this shame..

Tagged as: Cheating, Dating, The ex-factor, Troubled relationships, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (31 July 2009) 3 Answers - (Newest, 1 August 2009)
A male age 30-35, anonymous writes:

i have a great girlfriend, i love her to the point of dying, though i have done something stupid, as i sit here i wonder what all of you will think of this but i really use feed back as a way to cope with everything.

so me, my girlfriend who i am going to call angela and her friend who i am going to call stephanie went drinking, it was a long night of drinking, and we made it back to her stephanie's place, and sat around until 3 in the morning, and finally decided to go to sleep, well we all went to her room, the only place to sleep, and could not sleep, and stephanie i guess in the daze of drinking, says i usually sleep with my shirt off takes it off, and me who overheats a lot, so my girlfriend says i can take them off if i want, i am uncomfortable with this but ablige, so it me in my boxers, my girlfriend in her underwear, and her friend, shirtless with shorts on.

suddenly i feel turned on, i turn to my girlfriend sleeping in between me and her friend, and start trying to get her in the mood, which her friend said it was ok if we did anything, and while i have my hand on her, i believe she is asleep, but in the minute of lust i look over at her friend and she is in her own pleasure, so i reach and stroke her back a bit, she likes this, i stop a few seconds into it feeling gross, me laying next to my girlfriend, stroking her friend.

i am ashamed of my self, not because i got caught, but because i am a grown man, and this stuff shouldn't even come close to crossing my mind, there is more to the story, i left for hometown, she hangs out with man, she likes man, asks for open relationship, man says no to open relationship, she intends on breaking up with me for man, i get back, she takes away bedroom priviliges, we need to regrow friendship, she jut doesnt want to, she has had very bad experiences, we start spending less time together, i know for a fact she was not in love with me when i got back, and now im not sure if she even does.

i wake up in the morning feeling disguisting, go for breakfast, then later on in the day my girlfriend says she was not asleep and knew what happened, we had a very long walk, she has decided to stay with me, i will not do this again, faithfullness will be on my mind, nor will curiousity ever creep up again, i want input, it helps me cope.

View related questions: in the mood, underwear

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A reader, anonymous, writes (1 August 2009):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

thanks everyone, your input has helped me re-assure my self that i can be the best i can be, i will prove my love to her, and that i can be what she deserves, all i will need is time, and this i could wait till the earth strikes the sun, my patience for her is like the life of a tree, in the end, for her i would withstand the force of a hurricane.

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A female reader, Good Girl United States +, writes (31 July 2009):

Good Girl agony auntits not that bad, but it sounds like you have a complicated relationship with your girlfriend. Maybe an open relationship is what you both need. maybe not. just be honest and loving to each other. good luck and don't feel to bad. drinking causes these kinds of scenarios, now you know! knowledge is power.

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A female reader, night gurl United States +, writes (31 July 2009):

night gurl agony auntwell every thing is ok now right if it is then you two are even she wanted an affair but your strocked a girls back thats ok its like my bro getting a bug off of the back of my shirt

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