A
female
age
22-25,
anonymous
writes:Hi, I really need some advice on what is the right thing to do in my current situation. I'm 21 years old. I'd been with my boyfriend for five years and we broke up about three months ago. The reason for the break-up was because I needed to sort my head out. About a year ago, I started seeing another guy. It carried on for about 8 months whilst I was with my boyfriend and then I broke it off cuz it got messy. At this time I also broke off with my boyf (about three months ago), i think i just felt guilty and needed some time on my own to decide exactly what i wanted from life. Now I'm officially 'single' but I still see my ex and we are all over each other affectionately. I love him more than anything else in the world, but i know that things will never be quite the same and I'll always be carrying this guilt. I know that this is the one guy that i want to spend the rest of my life with, he means everythin to me. I can't spend a single day without him there. thing is, that I don't want to make love with him anymore? I don't know if this is due to some subconscious guilt or because I feel guilty cuz I really fancied the other guy (who i was seeing for 8months)? I know that i want to marry this guy and grow old with him, we are so perfect together. Do i pursue this? or let it drop because of what I've done? Do i tell him? Can i truly be happy with him if I keep this a secret? Any experiences that anyone can share would be greatly helpful, thanks in advance.
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female
reader, Spanner28 +, writes (5 January 2009):
 I can sympathise, just not on the same level. If your head is filled with guilt yet you want to continue a relationship with your ex then you are going to have to come clean. It might seem like a stupid reason with harsh consequences but his attitude towards it can go either way. He can either be very upset and call you every name under the sun and be happy you left him, or he could forgive you and respect you for being honest. After all, isnt honest one of the main factors of a relationship?When i said i can sympathise, i can. I had to leave my boyfriend nearly a week ago because i couldnt deal with his attitude towards our relationship, he just took it for granted but i am madly in love with him and want to spend my life with him, but i have to consider what made me leave him and that is whats holding me back. You do realise that if you take your ex back after being honest with him, he will have a serious trust issue with you, could you live with that?We all learn from our mistakes, try to learn from yours and it will lead you to the right decision
A
male
reader, MichaelS2  +, writes (4 January 2009):
 The only way you will be able to rid yourself of the guilt is by telling him!Tell him everything you just said!I don't know why you cheated on him,but if you truly want to spend the rest of your life with him you need to tell him.It would be a lot worse if he found out from someone else later on so if you admit to it now you have a better chance.Don't give up,You should try to save the relationship before you throw it away.Especially if you want to spend the rest of your life with him.You should come clean to him,and say that you want to be with him for the rest of your life!You could say it was a mistake but I'm not sure if it was for you?Just be completely honest with him.
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