A
male
age
36-40,
*AMMASON
writes:My wife and I have been together for 7 years and married for 2. A year or so before we got married we broke up for 6 months and ended up getting back together.Everything was going well (leading up to the wedding) and then she told me that she had a threesome with a couple while we were apart for the 6 months - she also says she wants them at the wedding. I told her I'd rather not have anyone at our wedding who has been inside her but me. She was super-fucking pissed and ended up cutting off contact with them for a while.Just recently, she found a picture of the three of them from the time they spent together and ended up reconnecting with them. I told her this made me uncomfortable and she said "when you broke my heart, they're the ones that put the pieces back together". So now she made plans with the husband - it's his wife's birthday this weekend and the 2 of us are going up to surprise them.The jealousy thing is starting to take a back seat to the wedge these 2 people are driving between us. I really don't know what to do - my initial reaction is leave her but I'm a "fight or flight" kinda guy.Any suggestions?
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broke up, jealous, threesome, wedding Reply to this Question
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male
reader, IAMMASON +, writes (16 July 2010):
IAMMASON is verified as being by the original poster of the questionTHANKS ALOT GUYS! I wasn't expecting quite so many answers so quickly!The reason I haven't left yet is because everything else about my life with her is perfect. She is the only person in the world I can be ENTIRELY honest with (including wanting to sleep with other people, ect.) without being judged or made fun of.I know that she'll never leave me - so it's either ride this out or end it.I think that I'm going to go to their house this weekend (making me feel gross just typing that) and see how that goes. They're a couple if hicks ( my wife calls these people "enlightened") and I'm already making this a shitty experience for myself and I haven't left yet. At least at that point after we visit I can give her an ultimatum after meeting them, maybe she'll listen then?Anyway, let me know if you want me to keep updating, but I just want to say THANK YOU for all of the amazing advice - I'm following it (mostly) and either way I don't feel so alone in this problem anymore - THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (15 July 2010): You have every right to be jealous. This is not acceptable behaviour on the part of your wife and you should tell her as much. Ok fine she had sex while you two were on a break but it is totally unacceptable to continue to have contact with these people after you two are married. Ask her if being friends with her old sex partners is more important than having a stable marriage with you.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie  + ♥, writes (15 July 2010):
 Wow TOTAL NO-NO! Why are you letting her emotionally BLACKMAIL you?
When you guys broke up was it because you cheated and THIS is her way of getting "even"?
I'd be packing her bags and put then on the front lawn.
Good luck,
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A
female
reader, Moo's Mum  +, writes (15 July 2010):
 Hell yes I'd be jealous about this too. In fact I'd hit the flippn roof!!! She sounds like she still hasn't forgiven you for the breakup. Why did she marry you if she's still pissed at you? HOw would she feel if the boot was on the other foot? Personally this would be a deal breaker for me I would issue an ultimation either she cuts contact with these people or you're out the door.
Good luck my friend I hope this works out for you.
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A
female
reader, Lotsalove. +, writes (15 July 2010):
 I totally understand your point here. Fair enough you split up, regardless of whose fault it was. And whatever you two did with other people in that time doesnt count as cheating, but because you've gotten back together now.. it can cause some damage. She needs to be more sincere about your feelings, but also maybe you can meet the couple and see how you feel? See how they are with your girlfriend? If they look happy for you both and happy your back together then maybe you can overlook the past, If they look like they're making advances to your gf to get her back into bed then maybe you should ask your gf to chose between them or you.
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