A
female
age
41-50,
*azy04
writes:I have a problem with my husband wacking off to porn! I'm a woman that believes in pleasing her husband! Even if I'm not in the mood, I will still give him sex. My other delima is that I want sex at least 2-3 times a day every day and he is usually once a week. I knew this when I married him and excepted that, that's who he was! It's not the porn! It's the fact that he'll do it behind my back and still lies when he is caught! Then I have to wait even longer before he'll give me sex again! I have no problem telling him when I look at porn, however, I can't masturbate to it! I get turned on and that's it! I was malested as a child, so I've never been able to touch myself there without getting grosed out! We've discussed this issue many of times and he knows it hurts me! It makes me feel as though I can't please him. It's bad enough when your always horny, but then you find out that you could have gotten it and instead it went on porn! This makes it even worse. Half the time I don't even have orgasims. My orgasim is knowing that I was able to get him off. As you can tell my needs are no where near as important to me as his! Yet No matter what I do (like recently he had to go away for 4 months. I decided to get internet and webcam. That way we could see each other. For the first time ever, I was able to get off watching him get off.)it's never enough. That was a huge deal to me. A few days later, he texts that he's going to go eat and he'll talk to me later. Later being 2-3 hours, he told that he didn't leave, that he masturbated to porn. So yet again I felt as though I'm the teaser and porn is the finisher. Then blamed me for not responding to that text. How can you respond to that? Please explain why it is that when men look at porn and get horny, why not go to their wives? I know about fantasy, I'm a woman that gets turned on by looking at porn too! I've asked him many of times to include me, but he won't. I've told him to be honest when he has the urge to look at it, but he doesn't! What else is there that I can do, because I'm tired of being degraded!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 September 2008): You need to talk to him. Perhaps get a little more individuated in the relationship aswell. If he's not giving you your dues, why not make extra time to see old friends or pursue hobbies that you've really wanted to do?
A
female
reader, dazy04 +, writes (17 September 2008):
dazy04 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWizard War, I'm glad you're done, cause yet again, that information didn't help! The other two was more understanding. Don't say I'm telling lies when you din't comprehend the problem. Lierin understood that porn wasn't the issue. So how did you come to the conclusion that it was ever an issue? Solver said to try and give him head while he's looking at porn. I'd love to do that and at the same time (if he wanted to) he could finger me! But that was one of the issues. He won't include me when he is want to or already looking at porn! He could look at it by himself all he wants as I'm aware about it and he comes to me after looking, instead of whacking off. Again, the problem has never been him ogling porn. It's about him lying and getting off to it! Men that gets themselves off, knowing that their wives would give them sex anytime and anywhere is extremly selfish! I wanted a solution to get him to open up more about looking, instead of lying and then coming to me when he's done looking, not getting himself off. And yes, he already knows that I don't care if he looks as long as I'm aware! That is what hurts the most. He is intentionally lying so he can be selfish by whacking off to porn. Again, when it comes to my sex drive, I used the wrong word. I don't want it that many times. It's a preference that I wouldn't mind having it that many times. That was one of the many reasons of why I married him. If I had someone with the same sex drive, sex would be boring with-in a couple of months. With him only wanting it a 3-5 times a month, it only makes me want him that much more!
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (17 September 2008): he must not know how lucky he is. i would love my wife to love porn like i do
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A
female
reader, dazy04 +, writes (16 September 2008):
dazy04 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI don't mind the porn, because I love porn and it would be awesome for him to look at it with me! My problem is that he lies when he looks at it and whacks off instead of coming to me with his needs after looking at it! I also stated that recently I did play with myself to get him off since we aren't together, because his job made him leave overseas and that was the first time I have been able to do that, ever! I have a twin and me and her both has givin him head! However, I will not do threesomes and I know that is a fantasy that almost all guys have. My main concern, since most of you think it's porn, it's not porn! It is him lying to me. I want him to come to me after he is done looking at porn, not wacking off. And again, even though my sex drive is alot higher, doesn't mean I'm not satisfied getting it just 3-5 times a month. Like I said, His needs are all I'm concerned with! So what else could I do to get him to come to his wife with his needs instead of whacking off to porn?
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 September 2008): Yeah, he definitely has a problem. Have you offered to give him head when he looks at port, so you'll be included too. Seriously, he's addicted to porn and has no desire to get rid of it. You either need to accept this, or move on with your life.
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A
female
reader, LIERIN +, writes (16 September 2008):
 Ok, so at least porn is not the issue
I absolutely understand where are you going with this. It is very hard and flusturating to you!
Do you know what exactly is he looking at? Maybe it is something you can't give him that he likes. Maybe it is actually a woman pleasing herself. He doesn't want to ask you to do that for him,because he knows how hurt you still are from your childhood. Or maybe he is watching something you would not agree with? I mean .. it is just and idea!
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