A
female
age
16-17,
lover_of_queen
writes:okay. i broke up with my boyfriend of 4.5 months last week. he had been very pushy and cheated on me all the time. i've known him for a good 5 years or so. and i know a lot about him. he's very poor. this had no effect on our relationship, of course..but it did prevent us from seeing eachother because his mother has a very tight grip on him at all times. other than school, we haven't gone out much. he also didn't get along with his mother and they fought constantly. i tried consoling him ..i wanted to make him feel better but he'd push me away with rude remarks like "do you want to join her?" and he started ignoring me after that. i decided to break up with him. when i did, i felt good..better than him. but..right now, he's making a fool of himself. he knows i'm well off..cause i have a family and a steady budget/household. he craves attention. in every possible way. he talks about being poor, and how he cant afford anything and how he doesnt even have any shoes...i never bothered to even think about that. i liked him for who he was....as a person. this makes me have a feeling of deep guilt and regret....i feel so bad for him. whenever i pass by the place he lives..(which is not SO poor)..i get this feeling of intense sadness. and it bothers me even more how people are discussing him..how they talk about me being better than him...and him being poor and disgusting and gross speaking of disgusting, he picks food off the floor in front of me and eats it. he did it all the time and then frowned when i refused to kiss him. i assume he's not DIRT poor, however. he does have a cellphone and somehow got a really good camera..randomly. why does he do this and why am i feeling this sadness/pity/guilt/regret/sickly feeling? ahhh please help. i do admit that the way i see him now is different than i used to see him. i feel like i've grown up a bit..changed my opinion on him. he's a very erratic persona
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female
reader, hlskitten  + ♥, writes (18 May 2008):
 Hi
Possibly you have grown tired of being his savior, someone that looks after him. Just maybe now, you want a more equal partnership. It almost sounds like he picked up on the fact you felt sorry for him and mothered him to a certain extent. And i expect he did enjoy that. Which would explain why he now feels so lost, and you feel guilty for that! Like you have deserted him after playing the carer role for so long.
If you are sure he isn't the one for you, then stick to your guns. His life isn't your responsibility. Yours is, and you now need to start moving on.
C xxxxx
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