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Parenting advice wanted!

Tagged as: Family, Pregnancy<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (23 March 2009) 6 Answers - (Newest, 26 March 2009)
A female United States age 30-35, *ama2be writes:

Hi everyone. i was wondering if anyone has parenting advice? i am 22 weeks pregnant and terrified. any advice about birth, raising a baby, names for the baby, or the portion of the pregnancy comming up would be greatly appreciated.

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A female reader, mama2be United States +, writes (26 March 2009):

mama2be is verified as being by the original poster of the question

A 64 HOUR BIRTH! ARE YOU NUTS!!!!!!!!!! I CANT DO THAT!!!!!!!!!!

well thank you to everyone on here helpin me, i am 16 and i am so freaked out. i know people are telling me to take classes, but i dont have time to, i have school and homework and im in a band, and i barely have time to check this site, but i gotta do something, so once i get to big for my guitar, im gunna have to quit my band, which i feel horrible about but idk what else to do. i did go to one class and the whole thing is just a bunch of breathing... it was a waste of time in my opionion. umm, no i am not living with the father, but i see him everday, and i honestly dont know how he does it, but he stays with me until i fall asleep, adn then goes home and ive been going to bed really late, and i see him at school the next morning and he is fine and energized i am kind of worried about him.

do you think if i told him to take a night home and not come over would make him worry? i dont want to stress him out but i feel like thats what i am doing.

umm i guess it was kinda dumb to ask for names and not say the sex of the baby, i am really stupid at times. it is a boy. or so i think.. it could be a finger but im pretty sure it was a boy, the doctor hasnt told me yet. i keep debating if i want to know.

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A male reader, Dr. John United States +, writes (23 March 2009):

Dr. John agony auntAbove all else, follow the advice of your doctor. He/She will be able to spot any trouble before it starts or becomes serious.

After the baby comes, be patient. Remember that a baby has no way of telling you what is wrong so they cry. Sometimes it is difficult, especially for a new mother, to figure out what the problem may be. Sometimes in these cases the mother becomes short tempered. This is understandable because a screaming baby can and does cause this at times. Just as I said be patient, not only with the baby but with yourself as well. Remember, you are going to be the center of the babies world and if you take good care of him/her you will be rewarded many times over. Best wishes to you both. Doc

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A female reader, shnookims South Africa +, writes (23 March 2009):

shnookims agony auntI'm 20 and my baby is nearly a year old. I fell pregnant at the end of my matric year. I was so scared of everything but everything's turned out great.

Advice for the birth in my own personal experience: If possible and your comfrotable with it, go for vaginal delivery. I went to a military hospital and didn't have a choice. But even though I tore, an hour later it was only a little sore when I walked. The woman next to me was in agony the whole night from her c-section and she couldn't hold her baby because of the stitching. Also, when you go into labour relax. Ok so my bf didn't believe I was in labour because I only had contractions and so it took me a while to get him to take me to the hospital. But I was only there for a little more than an hour before my daughter was born. I never went to pre-natal classes and I was fine but if you think it will help you then you should go.

Baby Names: There's no rush to decide. I kow a lot of people who couldn't decide on a name for a few days after their child was born. But you can get some real nice ideas at

http://www.babynames.com/

Raising a baby: I have about 7 baby books and I haven't read any of them. A lot of things will come naturally and for the things that don't, I hope you have someone you can turn to. It's not that hard to figure certain things out though. You can also go to clinic nurses for advice. But once again, just relax. I know a few babies around my baby's age and mine keeps me running round all day whilst the other are barely crawling because their parents refuse to put them on the floor for fear of germs. If you can get a play mat or donut they are really awesome. Lucky for me my mom made me both. It's really your choice at the end of the day at how you want to bring your baby but I made it a known rule that I didn't want people constantly holding my baby. Epecially now that she can get around by herself. I think it makes a clingy child. Also, try not to let your child get used to sleeping in your bed. I know a couple who haven't had a night together in their own bed in the 4 years they've had a child. But with your age, I doubt that the baby's dad is going to be living with you. If your tense, your baby will pick up on it and become tense too. Just show him/her lots of love. Even from now, talk to your baby and sing to him/her. It was amazing how a song that my bf and I sang to ours whilst she was still in me relaxed her when she was born. Seriously, it only worked with that song.

Anyway good luck and don't doubt yourself and your capabilities. Just by posting a letter on here, you are showing that you care and only want what's best for your child. I'm sure you will be a great mom.

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A female reader, molly4 Australia +, writes (23 March 2009):

molly4 agony aunthttp://www.babycenter.com.au/pregnancy

thats a really good website about everything having to do with having a baby and parenting. good luck!

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A male reader, Jason means Healer United Kingdom +, writes (23 March 2009):

Mmm. I wondered about diet with my wife's five births.

I mean, I was super keen to make sure she had plenty of absolutely everything the baby and her needed.

But at the same time, she stopped short of going gorging mad for the simple reason that hugh babies are harder to give birth to, especially first time.

My sisters first was 10 Ib 8 oz and it was a c-section no mistaking. I don't mean to scare you and doubtless there are those who would fume but in all honesty every single person I've told has nodded their head knowing the wisdom of it, both mothers, fathers and yet to be parents alike.

It's a similar affair with activity (exercise).

Too little and the maths stacks up against you and you become slowly but surely incapacitated.

Too much and baby could become distressed, or hot and you could find yourself tiring.

If I might also say. It's a time in your life when you could do without the cynicism and stress from negative people and I hope your surrounded by a good little support network of caring, conciensious folk.

I'll bet you're thinking; "pregnancy! everybody does it! but why does it have to be me?"

Where women get the strength from I don't know, but they doodle about and then (normally after a few false starts) the great day arrives and it's an emotional rollercoaster followed by inexplicable joy!

My friends sister just began having Braxton Hicks at six months and the doctor reassured her that it was all OK and normal for some.

Only thing I remember, when they get to about half an hour apart, that's really the dividing line to where the baby's coming. But at what point to drive to hospital or call an ambulance depends on other stuff such as their strength.

My wifes labors were as follows;

64 hours (first child, not mine)

32 hours second, my first

16

8

4

2

Strange, because the doctors told her she had a "magic cervix" which closed again after each birth.

But, despite her using various methods to get back in shape, even resorting to a corset towards the end, doubtless something was becoming ever more accustomed to the passage of birth!

Take care.

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A female reader, mama2be United States +, writes (23 March 2009):

mama2be is verified as being by the original poster of the question

thanks. that helps a little--i didnt even think about punishments and rasing it for life. i hate not knowing whats going to happen. i am so scared if something goes wrong.

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