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Painful foreplay is a turnoff

Tagged as: Sex, Virginity<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (18 June 2016) 5 Answers - (Newest, 21 June 2016)
A male Indonesia age 30-35, anonymous writes:

I am in a relationship for more than a year , while have foreplay with my gf she feel extreme pain and that moment will be the end of our quality time. And after a year still she is virgin. Is there any problem in her or anything that we can make it up.

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A female reader, aunt honesty Ireland +, writes (21 June 2016):

aunt honesty agony auntshe needs to see a doctor, she may have a problem or it could be psychological, either way she does need to make an appointment to get to the bottom of this.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (18 June 2016):

Honeypie agony auntI agree that her going to see her gynecologist should be on the top of the list.

Secondly, what kind of foreplay are "we" talking about here? Maybe it's something you need to learn how to do differently. If you are trying to insert fingers, don't. If it's painful for her... it can't be pleasurable for either of you. IF you are doing oral, you need to dial it back a bit and be as gently as possible, same if you are touching/rubbing her clitoris. If there are NO lubricant it's not at all pleasant.

You two NEED to be able to TELL each other what you like and HOW you want to be touched.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (18 June 2016):

There is a condition that prevents penetration in women and its very embarrassing and upsetting for her too, I understand. My friend had this and needed help thru doctors etc. So be kind and understanding and encourage her to see the doctor. This can be sorted out, but needs help and support and patience. Good luck.

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A male reader, no nonsense Aidan United Kingdom +, writes (18 June 2016):

Is there a problem with her? The only way to find out is to see a doctor. Are you trying different things with her? Perhaps there is something else you can try that is not so painful. Have you asked her if there is anything that she would particularly like you to do? Does she tell you what is more or less comfortable?

The important thing is that good sex (and good foreplay) relies on good communication. Of course there are techniques and tips you can follow, but it’s more important that you both understand what you like and try to please each other. So, if she is worried that there’s a problem, encourage her to visit a doctor, but also think about what the communication is like between you.

I wish you all the very best.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (18 June 2016):

There is a disorder involving painful sex and it probably goes with any penetration. What part of foreplay is painful? Fingering, oral on her? Maybe she needs a super gentle touch. Can she use tampons? Have you tried lube or more kissing to get her wet? Definitely she needs to see a women's doctor to rule anything out.

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