A
female
age
18-21,
*aurenzee
writes:Hi, Im 20 and my ex boyfriend is 22. He and I had a long distance relationship; it was brilliant, we were toegther about 10 monhts, he lives in scotland, i live in london. We saw each other about every month to every 6 weeks for about a week or more ata a time. It was great and we were really happy, he said i was everything he ever wanted and he could never bare to lose me. Out of the blue 6 weeks ago he called and said we shouldnt see each other anymore. I am heartbroken, he said he liked someone else, but it has only lasted a month with this other girl and now he is single again. Its killing me not being able to talk to him, i sent him a text, nothing desperate, just asked how he was and hoped he was ok. I didnt get a reply. i dont understand why, right up until he called it off things were brilliant, id seen hmi 2 weeks before and we had such a lovely week together, i have texts from him telling me how much i mean to him that he sent days before calling it off. Should i email him and tell him how i feel. Part of me is scared if i do then he wont reply and he will think im trying to be a stalker, which im not. I just miss him alot and our relationship was so good, even if the distance was difficult, it was worth working for. Will he contact me, does he need time?i really want him back, i know people make mistakes and i could forgive him, i just wish he would contact me all advice appreciated, thanks
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female
reader, desirewhitefire  + ♥, writes (18 June 2009):
 The best thing you can do is not talk to him at all for at least two months. By then, you'll be ok to talk to him reasonably without sounding like a clingy desperate woman. Really, it's ok. my ex and I dated for 5 years and when we split, I thought I was going to DIE. I sent him messages all the time, found reasons to call him and ask him things, and drove by his house at night to see if he was home. All I was doing was hurting myself. So, I read in a magazine article once that when you break up with someone, you should cut yourself off from them for 60 days. So I stopped trying to get in touch with him. I stopped driving by his house. And guess what? After a few months, I was completely over it. And now I'm married with a 9 month old baby and life is great. So don't worry, it'll be ok. Just let go.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 June 2009): Hun, i did the same thing with my ex. I didn't ask him back though. I just poured out what I was going through without him and told him I accept the break up and wished him happiness.
Once or twice he replied. My guess is, he wants me to leave him alone. The fact that he ignored most of my messages means he doesn't want anything to do with me.
It hurts a lot but we have to accept this. Through acceptance, we can let them go and we can move on with our lives.
You know, the more you pursue them, the more they will stay away from you. Leave them alone so they will realize what they lost and will start missing you. Ironically, that's the best way to get them back.
But don't expect or hope that he will come back to you. You will only waste your time waiting and you will hurt yourself even more.
Accept & move on.
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A
female
reader, Samii + ♥, writes (18 June 2009):
 I think long distance relationships are complicate dthey can work but when a new girl comoes on the scene he realises he can see her when he wants and so on and that is very tempting from seeing each other every 4-6 weeks. At least he ended it before getting with someone new rather than going behind your back. I think you should just leave him a while I am sure he will get in touch with you when he is ready. At the same time I think that you shoudl move on withyour life you cant just wait around for the one guy. Hope thishelps xx
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