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Out and hopelessly in love

Tagged as: Friends, Gay relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (20 March 2009) 2 Answers - (Newest, 25 March 2009)
A male United States age 30-35, anonymous writes:

I'm in 9th grade and I'm gay. I've outted myself to my two best girl friends, one use to be my gf before, and I've recently outted myself to one of my guy friends. He was surprisingly cool with it and we talk about my interests in guys and stuff. Well, Here's the part that shocked me, we were talking and he told me that he thought he was gay and that he wanted to come out, but then he met a girl, their currently 4 months in a relationship, and he told me that that helped him decide he was straight. He even confessed to looking at guys still and one night he told me he some gay...well you know what, online. Now, I'm hopelessly in love with him! He's hot, confident, funny, atheletic, and soo understanding. Unfortunately, I can't tell him since: A) He's in a relationship. And: B) I'm afraid that that would make him uncomfortable around me. I don't know what I should do. Do I tell him or just wait for a possible break-up between him and his girl and hope he turns to me for comfort then tell him? Help!

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A reader, anonymous, writes (25 March 2009):

At 15 I think its to early to tell if you love someone. I think that this guy is still figuring life out. He's shopping around saying do I like that or not, he's bi which is fine but just because he says he's gay at one point and then changes his mind. Its fine he's looking for the right person to be with and if he's bi, it will be really hard to figure out when he wants to be with a guy or a girl. When is the main thing, when I was younger I was going back and forth with guys and girls, I'm bi and thats what your friend is going through. Give him time when he's into guys he'll swing your way, untill then give him room and just be friends for now.

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A female reader, jessica04 United States +, writes (20 March 2009):

jessica04 agony auntHe sounds like he is still really confused about what he likes, and a lot of young men at this age really are.

I commend you for having the strength to come out at such a young age, but he may not be ready to admit if he is gay.

Some people take a few years, always fighting their "urges" and thoughts, and trying to do what people tell them is right. He needs to figure himself out first. And truth be told, he may just be curiously looking around. He might be straight, or bi, who knows?!

Let him discover on his own. In the meantime, don't tie yourself down, she if there is another around who you fancy, and who fancies you as well.

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