A
male
age
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*cott2125
writes: Don’t know what to think or say!!I haven been married for 15 years to a wonderful lady. Like every marriage we have encountered ups and downs. For about a year our intimacy is gone. She gets off work at 5:30pm arrives home at 8:30pm. She is always on social media. Sleeps as far away from me in bed with back facing me. I took off work for her work Christmas Party only to be told “it’s only Employees only”. Talk more on phone then we do at home. Called her the other night and was out of breath asked what’s wrong and tells me just tired exhausting day.
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female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (20 December 2017):
 You need to talk to her!! A relationship breaks down when the two people in it are not communicating properly. Honestly have a talk with her. Should it take her three hours to get home from work? As for Christmas party why would you have taken time off without asking her first? It sounds like communication has completely broken down and you both are just going through the motions. TALK TALK TALK
A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 December 2017): Have you tried bringing the intimacy back in other ways? Taking her out to dinner, going on a romantic getaway, surprising her with a clean house or a gift. I don't want to jump to conclusions about her fidelity, but I think the communication in your relationship is broken down. Sometimes, that communication needs a jump start. Try getting involved in her interests. Ask her questions about work and her hobbies. Surprise her with a romantic dinner and night out on the town, where the only focus is on her. Then, when the conversation has restarted, bring up how you've been feeling recently, and recommit to having your special relationship time each day.
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A
male
reader, Billy Bathgate +, writes (17 December 2017):
Oh come on dude. It is over she has found someone else. Divorce her and move on.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 December 2017): Erm, my office party doesn’t allow spouses/partners so that really means nothing! There are 200 people in my department alone so we’re lucky if we can find somewhere big enough for the staff never mind partners too. Besides, it’s heavily subsidised so only staff members are eligible.
OP I think you need to have a word with your wife and try to find out what’s bothering her, but please don’t jump to conclusions based on false information as she may well be telling the truth about that.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (17 December 2017): Maybe it is the long travel to and fro work that is making her irritated and tired. Have you thought of moving to somewhere nearer to her work?
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 December 2017): Sir, I think you're wife may be having an affair. Work Christmas parties do not exclude spouses. That would create a lot of tension at home! Otherwise; it would be held during regular work hours.
Suggest to her that's what you suspect and see how she reacts. Be sure to layout everything you said she does in your post. Look into her eyes when you're telling her. If she can't look back or avoids the conversation. Be more concerned.
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A
male
reader, Allumeuse  +, writes (17 December 2017):
I think you need to sit your wife down and ask her how you need to reconnect. I don't think there is cheating but there is something missing. Good luck
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A
male
reader, CMMP +, writes (16 December 2017):
Hmmmm, sounds pretty damn suspicious to me...
I don't know how best to proceed but she may be cheating and you need to get better evidence (cell phone records?). Ask her to account for her time and see if she looks like she's lying.
My experience is that you can usually tell when you're being cheated on unless you have a history of being paranoid.
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