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Our 'dates' are all at his house but I want us to go out

Tagged as: Dating<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (28 July 2010) 5 Answers - (Newest, 28 July 2010)
A female United Kingdom age 30-35, *itti_kat123 writes:

Ok... Ive been seeing this guy recently. Date 1: We was supposed to go out for drinks. He called after he finished work saying he was tired but i could come round his place. First off i said no and said we would do it another day when he was less tired but as i wanted to see him i gave in! We have a few drinks kissed cuddled nothing more!

So date 2: He could tell i wasnt impressed with his effort so he suggest we go to the cinema, so we did. The film i chose was really boring and even he wasnt very interested in it so "I" suggested we go back to his place! I assume he thought he was getting lucky as when we got back he tried it on. I told him that he wont be getting anything soon so to just stop right there! I stayed a few more hours we chatted etc etc then i went home!

Date 3: AGAIN at his place! Which at the time i didnt mind as i myself was tired and hung over from my a night out the night before! Now he seems to assume it ok just to go to his house! I get all dressed up to sit in his house whilst he is sitting in his ripped shorts and creased t shirt! I mean come on! This time things got a little heated! No Sex but grinding and alot of passion! I stayed the night and left in the morning. (wrong move i know but id been drinking so couldn’t drive home)

Its only now that ive actually wrote my thoughts that i can see this whole situation is just a joke but what the hell!!! I was actually starting to think this guy was different. I dont want to tell him that i want him to take me out as i believe that if he doesn’t then he clearly isnt that interested in impressing me so why make him try to impress me if he doesn’t want to! He said hes a homely person but come on!! He was saying something to me about "pay day" maybe he just doesn’t have the money at the moment ??? Or is that me just making excuses???

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A female reader, natmarie United Kingdom +, writes (28 July 2010):

natmarie agony aunthe is either broke until pay day as he said OR he is tight with his money. I would tell him you are getting bored staying in, and see if he takes you out after payday

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A male reader, CaringGuy United Kingdom +, writes (28 July 2010):

Why is it that women have this thing about not talking to men about what they want? Why? We're not mind readers. This is why men get confused. You say one thing, but expect another. Why not try saying what you expect? It's about actions. Your actions suggest to him that you like going to his house. If you want him to take you out, tell him. Don't just go round to his house. Tell him that you'd like to go out. If he says 'come to my house', then just say that you were hoping to do something out the house together as a couple.

Now in fairness, from a male point of view, it does sound like he's a bit of a bum anyway.

But please don't sit there expecting men to read your mind. This is why divorces come about later in life. If you want something, ask for it.

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A female reader, Oregongrl1 United States +, writes (28 July 2010):

Actions speaks louder then words and he respects what you give him to respect! and men will use what you let them use!

well boyz, that is? next time if he just wants to stay home

tell him fine! because you are going out with or with out him. and see what happens if he doesn't budge? oh well his loss your gaine!! move on....... next time set your stanards high and have their total attention & respect aren't you worth it!!!

Good Luck!

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A female reader, xanthic United States +, writes (28 July 2010):

xanthic agony auntAlthough he may not have much money on hand right now, there are still things you could do that don't cost a lot of money. I'm guessing he's lazy, more than anything.

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A female reader, Gabrielle Stoker United States +, writes (28 July 2010):

Gabrielle Stoker agony auntIt's possible he's trying to save money. Or he's just lazy. Just say "Let's go out somewhere. We never seem to do anything together". If he's sensible, that will clue him in. If it doesn't, it's early enough to back out, isn't it?

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