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Our beliefs are so very different, Im scared to lose his frienship, but I really want more than that!!

Tagged as: Big Questions, Dating, Forbidden love<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (14 April 2007) 3 Answers - (Newest, 14 April 2007)
A female United States age 30-35, anonymous writes:

I'm 15 years old and have never been a very religous person, just raised that way I suppose. But now I'm falling for a guy who is LDS and very religous(I'm talking WAY strict). We havn't officially started dating however we have building up a good friendship and it has potential for a future relationship. The only problem is I'm not sure how our difference in belief will mix. I'm scared to lose him as a friend yet I really want to be more than friends with him. What can I do?

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A male reader, nologo Ukraine +, writes (14 April 2007):

nologo agony auntI will answer your question from the point of your age.

14 to 16 is a period to form your own system of values.

This is the time when you socialize a lot and begin interested in politics and religion.

"Happy teen" is a fiction nowadays; it only exists on the silver screen, in books etc.

Reality is like this: you meet people with different background and start relationships.

You are asking: "how our difference in belief will mix"

It will not mix, because politics and religion are SERIOUS.

What you can do: continue friendship or accept his beliefs.

Before making choice wait a bit and learn this guy better.

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A female reader, cd206 United Kingdom +, writes (14 April 2007):

cd206 agony auntIf you start a relationship with him you do risk losing him as a friend since very few relationships that start at your age last forever. It's totally possible to be with someone with different beliefs without them ever being an issue so if you really want this then go for it. Just take it slow so there are no surprises.

CD

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A reader, anonymous, writes (14 April 2007):

Tough question. These situations can often be good friendships, but difficult "serious" relationships. I would caution you, if you let him know how you would like more than a "friendly" relationship, he may well assume that means an acceptance of his beliefs as well, or at least "open" to them. So, you should be prepared for some "evangelizing" on his part. If you feel you would be uncomfortable with this, I would suggest caution. It could lead to hurt feelings on both sides. His faith and beliefs are obviously very much a part of who he is. It would be a mistake to think you could seperate them from the things you both have in common. Obviously you do have common interests and enjoy each others company. This one requires some deep thought on your part. Best wishes.

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