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Our 6 year relationship is boring I'm fed up and don't know what to do about it!

Tagged as: Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (16 July 2019) 7 Answers - (Newest, 19 July 2019)
A female United Kingdom age 36-40, anonymous writes:

What do you do when your bored in a relationship I’ve been with my partner for 6 and a half years but the relationship is so boring I’ve ended it twice with him but he begs me to stay and things will change and so on but it never does he works 7 days a week I work 5 days a week full time his weekend Work is just overtime all he talks about is farting or baccy (tobacco) or money he never makes anytime for me I don’t find him physically attractive our sex life is boring as hell once a month maybe if that his idea was to spend Sunday’s together and have a date night once a month this was nearly a year ago and nothing has come of it we live together but it’s like we live separate lives I found out a family member had cancer who I’m close to so I went to see her she went to answer the door to someone so I looked on Facebook quickly and saw he added his ex girlfriend so when I got home I asked him about it he denied it then said she sent him the request to which I found out he was lying he added her but he couldn’t see what he was doing wrong i was so upset and annoyed we got over it but now I don’t feel anything for him I feel so fed up I don’t know what to do anymore any advice greatly appreciated

View related questions: ex girlfriend, facebook, his ex, money, sex life

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A male reader, Cosmo36 United States +, writes (19 July 2019):

Leave now , don’t make the mistake I did.

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A female reader, CindyCares Italy +, writes (18 July 2019):

CindyCares agony aunt This is neither here nor there, but personally I would leave him just for using words like " baccy " :), I have no idea why but there are certain British colloquialisms, like baccy, choccy or pressie, that just make me cringe ! Never mind. Anyway : sorry but I don't quite understand your problem, in fact I can't see that you have a problem. He farts, he smokes, he bores you. He does not interest you, amuse you,or keep you company. You don't love him, you don't even like him any more, your sex life is dull. Basically , you WANT to leave him , then leave him already !, you left him twice before . But you took him back twice ,because he asked you ?? That can't be. Makes no sense. At least, it's only part of the story. I suppose you don't have the habit to do literallyy everything that he asks you. I mean, if he wants you to throw yourself under a bus, or to rob a bank, you won't do it right ?

So why taking him back and staying with him when you only feel contempt and annoyance for him (… not that maybe he does not deserve what you feel, but that's another story ).

You don't know how to get rid of him, and now you complain because maybe there is another woman who is interested, and you are jealous ?? Bizarre. Why, you should make her a monument, she may be the key that opens the doors of freedom for you.

Unless, all this long working days don't bring home a nice comfy quantity of bacon, and a lifestyle that you could never afford on your own. I understand this, I am not reproaching you. It's easy to get spoiled, and money matters ARE important, whether we like to admit it or not. But I feel that in this case one has to weight pros and cons with a fair, equitable mind, and be a good sport. Either you decide that the material advantages of living with this man top any other consideration- and you stop whining; you accept that the farting and the baccy and the boredom come , basically, with you singing for your supper, and you sing with some grace and class. Or, you decide that your happiness, freedom and pursuit of true love are more important of any material perks you might have to lose, and act accordingly. It's that simple, eventually.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (18 July 2019):

I do have one novel-idea! It's practically the case anyway!

Stop calling him your boyfriend, and refer to him as your roommate.

Sometimes to break a long-term addiction, you have to do it cold-turkey. He's an old-addiction, and you just gotta bite the bullet, and lick that old habit! Break-loose and run!

Find yourself a cute affordable flat, move in, and fix it up! Leave him in the old place; or let him move back with his ex-girlfriend.

Bet you a new Gucci bag and Prada pumps she wont take him back!

You can still ditch him out in the boonies, at some old abandoned farm! Alive please!

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A reader, anonymous, writes (18 July 2019):

You don't find him attractive, you've described him as boring, you got angry because he FB-friended his ex ( and lied about it), you have sex maybe once a month; and he's a baccy-loving farter.

You don't love him, you tolerate him. Your jealousy about his friending his ex makes no sense. Your entire post makes no sense. You broke-up, and you only took him back; because you feel sorry for him. Yet you don't know what to do about it???

Stop complaining. You have no reason to write DC! Not really!

You keep your boyfriend around like a mangy old pet-dog nobody really wants. You could abandon him on the side of the road; or ditch him somewhere on a remote farm on the outskirts of town.

You're afraid to leave him! Wanna know why?

Because you're scared to be alone. You find him boring, but he helps to pay the bills. He doesn't mind working seven days a week. You have no idea what you'd do without a man to help support you. You claim he doesn't buy you anything; but somehow the rent gets paid every month!

If you got rid of him, you'd have to look for another man; and maybe you're not secure enough about yourself, or independent enough to do that. So you're stuck with someone you can't even bring yourself to say you love. If he accidentally read your post; it would break his heart, or make him gassy!

If you think he's so boring, why can't you leave? His pleading for you to stay is all it takes? He apparently doesn't want to marry you. He let six years roll-by, but he won't put a ring on it. You don't love him anyway. Well, he's got something going for him! You can't leave him!

Pity is not a reason to hold-on to a man. What exactly has made you stick around for as long as six years? Well, he knows you find him boring; so he went-out and dug-up some competition to create some drama to wind you up! Now you have another reason to keep him. To keep him away from his ex.

Logically, it seems you should be happy there's somebody out there to take that baccy-loving flatulent old-bore off your hands. Seems he went out and found himself some leverage. An EX!!!

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (17 July 2019):

That piece about all he talks is about farting and baccy is hilarious. It is at least a change from talking cars or football all the time. FGS just break up with him and don't give in to his begging and weeping.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (17 July 2019):

Do you like this person? Respect them? Do you share values and have similar goals for life? My guess is the answer is no. A relationship is only as strong as the bond within it and it doesn't sound like you two have any bond other than 6 years served.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (17 July 2019):

Honeypie agony auntIf you have already tried to end this relationship twice, it's OBVIOUSLY not working for you, it hit it's expiration date the FIRST time you ended it.

Him "begging" you to come back doesn't mean ANYTHING will change, he won't change, it won't MAGICALLY fix itself.

I think you have mentally and emotionally left the relationship a LONG time ago, not it's just time to ACTUALLY leave.

He isn't who you want to be with. YOU aren't who HE wants to be with, which is why he is looking up old GF's so he can try and find a "replacement".

You are BOTH wasting your time, each other's time.

Just STOP flogging the dead horse, it's not going to work out.

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