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Only together a year and the sex has gone downhill! I make the effort why cant he!?

Tagged as: Big Questions, Gay relationships, Sex, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (13 April 2007) 2 Answers - (Newest, 13 April 2007)
A male United States age 41-50, anonymous writes:

I am having sex problems with my boyfriend of 1 year. The first month we were together, sex was good, but soon after that it went downhill. Now, we have sex about once a week, and he acts like he is in a rush to get the task done. I also discovered that sometimes he masturbates while I am not home. He said sometimes he is tired and doesn't have the energy to have sex with me and he just wants to get off. I told him i will do everything, just sit back and relax, but that apparently is not good enough. He insists that he still finds me attractive, and tells he loves me and how cute I am everyday. We are both young, healthy guys, and I am tired a lot too from my hectic schedule, but I always want sex with him. Why doesn't he?

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (13 April 2007):

just try chill bout it and not let it grow into a problem that most likely isnt there. If a bloke feels pressured to perform to prove his love and interest he will wilt like a dry flower as he will worry that will happen and so it will. Then the problem escalates.Just relax and enjoy each other without pressure and things will take care of themselves naturally.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (13 April 2007):

i know what you mean. my fiancee and i experienced something similar last year. our sex life ceased. i really thought he didnt fancy me anymore. boy, was i wrong! the real problems stemmed from his job. money was tight for a while, we where buying our first home and he was just about to ask me to marry him. he was stressed out, worried and very tired most days. when work settled down, we finally got our mortgage and finances came under control the physical side of our relationsip started again. i bet your fella is just tired and worried about things. you obviously deal with stress better than him. we are all different. talk to him. tell him how you feel and assure him that you will always be there for him. things will settle down again. most people go through "quiet" periods at some stage in their relationship, so dont worry too much. good luck.

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