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Online dating tips

Tagged as: Dating<< Previous question   Next question >>
Article - (29 August 2008) 2 Comments - (Newest, 1 September 2008)
A female Australia age 51-59, epifanatical writes:

Online Dating Tips

Newsflash:

The girl of your dreams is not just hanging out in your neighborhood, but she is also just a click away!

Just like the way business surges its scope wider, tapping the world, the dating scheme is expanding into the net giving us limited opportunities to choose our man or woman. It's easier to find a girlfriend now even if she lives in another state. Just a few chats and voice calls and there you are on your way to meet the woman of your dreams. Even interracial marriage is widely becoming more possible. More western men are marrying Asians. Asians are migrating to the west giving countries more ethnic variety.

But here you are shaking your head and saying that going online to get a date is an insane idea but it has worked for many couples. But why are you even reading this? So, it did cross your mind and if you and any of your friends are contemplating about giving it a taste test, let me give you a briefer.

Caution:

Where the trend is - is where business is. Scammers proliferate making individuals who are trying to find their love in a road less travelled (or is it still?) their victims. As more and more people traffic the net, more and more opportunists are on the outlook on who to take advantage of. So, get your ammos out and be careful!

Is net dating really just like regular dating? Well, maybe and maybe not. For one, you don't need to worry about how you look every time you go out to date. Who cares if you are in your pajamas? You just have to get those teabags ready, a few cookies and you're all set to sit on your computer and type away.

But before you start anything, be savvy, cautious and smart about how to go about it if you don't want to end up being fooled or outwitted.

Here are a few guidelines:

Know who you're talking to. Although some think that "love at first chat" can happen the way "love at first sight" does, you are actually posing yourself to the same, real dating dangers if you fail to get to know the person better. If you are truly interested to move further from your usual hi- ASL, U R Hot chats, devout time to ask questions and watch out for inconsistencies. When your lie radar fails you, listen to your instinct. If something doesn't feel right, then chances are it isn't!

Watch out for the red flags. Online - they are: people asking for money, someone you particularly really like but you feel like being sidestepped, someone always looking for sex all the time (admit that people get more naughty online and if they ask this more than they should, they probably are just talking to you to get it), your chat-mate is picture perfect, refuses to be or never been on cam (you might be talking to someone who's pretending to be a model or someone who's gay) Believe it or not, some people will express love even during your first conversation. Don't fall into the trap. There are those who use their charm to get their way with things. If what you're seeing and sensing is too good to be true, there's a good percentage that who you're talking to is a jerk!

Be honest about who you are. While it's easy to lie and be who you want to be online, it all comes back to you when you like the one you are talking to and you have been lying all along! Be sincere but don't give out too much information about you especially if you have not known the other person for a long time.

Be thoughtful. If you are fond of calling on the phone, giving her a visit at the office or at home or sending her flowers and cute little love notes if she lives a few blocks away from you, you can do the same online. Having a long distance relationship, in my opinion, takes more nurturing in the courtship phase just because you don't really see or touch each other. So what do you have to do now? Don't fret as your thoughtfulness can be communicated through emails, e-cards, voice messages and if you prefer to be more personal, the snail mail still works!

Patience makes your love go round. When your sweetie is thousands of miles away, love will never be enough. Patience will get you through against the currents of your relationship.

What I'm really saying is -- don't be stupid and go madly and unreasonably in love with someone you haven't even met. While emotions may be hard to control, it doesn't necessarily have to affect your brain. Be guarded; listen to what your mind has to say. If who-you-have-fished-out is worth your heart, your pure intentions will show and you both will endure whatever comes your way. Good luck!

View related questions: flowers, long distance, money, the internet

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A female reader, epifanatical Australia +, writes (1 September 2008):

epifanatical is verified as being by the original poster of the question

epifanatical agony aunt@JasonX.. for sure sweetee and i couldnt agree more.. patience.. understanding.. trust.. and very open communication.. the effort to keep in touch is greater too.. long distance can work if both are committed to making it work.. if it is all one sided than forget it.. it is usually doomed.. thx for commenting.. cheers !! :)

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A reader, anonymous, writes (30 August 2008):

I would just like to emphasize that in long distance relationships, some even crossing timezones, that Patience is indeed one of the most important things.

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