A
male
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:When I asked girls (online) to rate me, the majority of them said I was okay but I wasn't their type of guy. One girl said I was okay but no panty dropper (kinda hurt my feelings). and a couple said I wasn't good looking. I wanted to hear the truth but now I don't feel good about myself.I don't get it. When I can actually talk and be myself?Girls think I'm funny and they like me (Obviously the girls online don't really know me). Girls tell me I'm cute too. Does a guy's personality change girls opinion on a guy? I'm disappointed too because my guy friends and family told me I could be good with girls but I don't know if my looks matter that much or not. I guess you can picture me as an average looking guy but with a more interesting personality than most guys. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, shrodingerscat +, writes (12 January 2013):
 I actually have to strongly disagree with Tranced and say that I think "negging" is a very manipulative method of talking to women.Negging is Pick-Up-Artist speak for undermining a woman's self-confidence by insulting her or putting her down in order to make them emotionally vulnerable and more likely to accept your sexual advances.Instead of manipulating and hurting a woman in order to get closer to her (a method that is HIGHLY misogynistic), you should treat people with respect and dignity...because women are human beings, and deserve to be treated like human beings. Decent men don't resort to negging in order to get sex. Emotionally secure and culturally aware women will spot negging from a mile away and reject you for it. Treat people like you'd want to be treated, and you'll succeed.Men that are confident do not need to insult women in order to talk to them. That is insecurity, not confidence, that makes them do that. I sincerely doubt you'd like it if a woman insulted you or put you down, so don't do it to others.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 January 2013): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThat was my reply. I forgot to log in
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (12 January 2013): @trancedrythmear- thanks for that insight. It does make sense not to over compliment women cause if they are hot than they'll already have a bunch of guys complimenting them. I guess a good way to look at it is just treat them like a human being and not a goddess like some guys do. Where i have trouble though is thinking of things to say to girls. That's not an issue i have with just girls though, i have trouble making guy friends cause i can't think of things to say
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A
male
reader, TrancedRhythmEar  +, writes (12 January 2013):
 Im a big guy. Some women like it some dont. Quite frankly who cares man. If a woman isn't attracted to ur body its her issue not yours. One of my fav opening lines to women is yea but I look better than u n wink with a straight face. Not only does this break ice but it also tells women I have confidence in my looks so whatever they say about my looks wont hurt that confidence. In addition don't seek womens approval for ur looks this shows ur a wuss n ur an ass kisser n pleaser n bottom line no confidence. Next tease ladies with how they look n do it respectfully give them crap about height nails hair heels anything. Why? They like men who arent easily impressed. Dont compliment either I do but its rare bc lets face it hot women kno theyre hot bro they dont need u tellin them cause again it shows ur an ass kisser. Most importantly attraction isn't a choice its instinct. Ive had women tell me they think I'm too muscular intimidating etc but are attracted to me bc of my personality then they say ur not my type but wow. Focus on developing ur personality so u can attract women. Dont let them hate on u n don't fear rejection. Go get em.
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A
female
reader, Got Issues  +, writes (12 January 2013):
 "Also how can a girl say I'm not her type by just looking at a photo of me?"That's what you asked the girls to do.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (12 January 2013):
 I have to agree, don't ask a question if you don't think you can handle an "honest" answer.
The thing is NONE of of the people "rating" you knows you. And people online are not always totally nice. Specially your own peers.
Personality, confidence, humor, manner and charm doesn't always translate to a picture.
Stick with "REAL" people who know you for advice on your personal appearance.
Learn from this... There is more to people then JUST their looks. That goes for you and everyone around you.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 January 2013): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for the replies. Also how can a girl say I'm not her type by just looking at a photo of me? I mean i know I'm not bad looking. Can a girl change her mind about a guy if she meets him and she loves his personality and humor? Just curious.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 January 2013): You shouldn't have asked people to rate your appearance, that's just inviting them to judge you on what you look like!! Personality is all that matters in the end, even if appearance may make a girl interested at first she'll soon run the opposite direction if the guy is an idiot. Stop worrying and be yourself. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.
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A
female
reader, shrodingerscat +, writes (12 January 2013):
You should never ask a question if you aren't prepared to hear it answered.Have you ever met an attractive girl with a terrible personality, so you decided you'd never date her because of it?Men are no different from women in that respect.
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A
male
reader, CMMP +, writes (12 January 2013):
Personality and confidence are 1000 times more important than your looks.
A great looking person can be disgustingly ugly if their personality is and an ugly person can be beautiful.
You should have figured that out by now.
Asking people to rate you was stupid, you got what you deserved there. You basically asked a bunch of shallow people to rate you. These people probably are not Mr. and Mrs. Personality or they wouldn't be participating in such a shallow thing.
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