A
female
age
22-25,
anonymous
writes: There is a boy that is in all of my classes and has been all year. When I met him, my first thoughts were of how good looking he was. As I got to know him, I also found out he has a crazy sense of humor. He's tastefully halarious and isn't afraid to be himself, no matter how strange. He constantly makes me smile and laugh. I also realized how much I enjoy talking with him. He really listens when I talk and tell stories, he's sincerely interested, and can keep up the conversation. Also, he's a gentlemen and I can tell, through the little things he does, how genuine, caring and considerate he is. We share the same morals and values. He's incredibley smart, athletic and.... Aren't I describing the perfect boyfriend? Here's my dilemma: I'm not the only one who see's these things in him. Most girls who meet him will ike him. One of my BEST FRIENDS is in love with him. If i like him, I couldn't tell her, could I? I couldn't compete with so many other girls, either. Could I? Currently, he and I have a steady friendship going, and flirt around some. Is it worth pursuing? Is it too good to pass up? Help!
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 May 2013): So many questions, but first things first. I'd talk to your best friend and tell her you have a major crush on him. See how she feels about that.
It may come down to a simple choice between him and your best friend.
I made the mistake of believing my best friend when they said they were okay with me dating a girl we both liked.
I lost that friend for good.
I mean I used to tell everything to that friend but I couldn't talk about me dating this girl without him being very hurt, we couldn't hang out with her present because seeing us together killed him and well he just started despising me out of sheer jealousy and he hated feeling that way too.
So OP by choosing her I chose to lose my best friend. We only dated two months too, I was friends with my best friend for years and it never recovered because I made a choice to choose her. So 2 months later I had neither. Want to know what the real kicker was? I didn't enjoy one single moment of being with her because I just felt so tortured over what I was doing to by friend. It just felt wrong the whole time, I couldn't kiss her without thinking how his heart sank just thinking I was doing that with her.
Ever since then I have never dated a girl any of my close friends had real feelings for. Because no matter what they say it hurts them too much, I can't have happiness in life if I know I'm denying the people I love happiness. For me bros before hos is the way I do things.
OP if your best friend has stuck up for you when others haven't, if you can trust her with your life, tell anything to, know she'll always have your back then you owe her the respect of talking this out with her, you at least owe her that chance to tell you how she feels about you going ahead with this.
There's no point in even considering anything with this guy until you know how she feels. Then you have a choice to make OP, a guy you may not work with romantically or a friend who may have been very good to you for years.
For me OP, no woman is worth sacrificing a friendship for. There are too many other free available and great women that I don't need to crush my friends to date someone.
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