A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hi there some advice needed pls. I was seeing a guy for few months talking, dating etc, we did get really close and things were going well. We met at a country house wkd away with mutual friends and we got a lot closer after. He took me out and treated me really well. We are a similar age and have loads in common. One wkd we all went to a music festival and I felt really indifferent towards him when he turned up, everyone had been asking me about this guy I had been seeing, could they meet him and I just freaked out a bit! It was like I could not be myself around him and I felt the same for most of the day. Ever since then things have been odd between us and have never gone back to how they were but I do really like him and miss the way we were when we used to hold hands and be more like a couple and spk often. I see him often because we are all friends but have not brought it up with him. Should I? I did text him a week ago asking how he was and trying to be friendly but he did not respond. I saw him after that and we were chatting and getting on well but we were all with other people so was not the time or place. I don't really want to say anything by text. Should I just leave it until the time is right or see if he comes to me?
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reader, anonymous, writes (2 September 2012): I'm thinking you had the right time, and you blew it out of the park. He's probably decided to back off thinking you're not interested.
You could try explaining to him that you did enjoy his company and the way things were going, but for whatever reason you freaked out. Say that you miss him and would like to meet up again if he would like, and not to take what happened personally because its not him who's at fault, it was you... And see what he says.
A
female
reader, AuntyEm +, writes (2 September 2012):
 By the sound of it, things were going well until you decided to freak out. Men are fragile and easily unnerved. They don't really take too well to that kind of thing so he is probably thinking now that you arn't the one for him.
Seems like he is happy to just be friends but if you want to have a relationship with him you probably need to explain why you freaked out and make sure he is ok with your explaination.
Not too late to try and work things out but if you get into things with him again and allow yourself to freak again, he's probably going to walk.
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