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One moment he won't be able to keep his eyes off me, but then another he doesn't even pay the slightest attention to me...

Tagged as: Age differences, Forbidden love, Teenage<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (17 December 2008) 6 Answers - (Newest, 18 December 2008)
A female United States age 30-35, anonymous writes:

Dear Cupid,

I need help! I know this person that "might" be attracted to me, but I'm not for sure. I've debated whether he does, for over 7 months now. This is really hard to explain, but he's kind of off limits, ok I'll just say it, I think what I'm feeling is infatuation. And I know, you're tired of hearing this, but if there was one person in this world, I would choose to be with, it would be with him. I've never felt this way about anyone! And if I have, then it never lasted this long. I usually get over men quickly if I know I don't have any chance with him, but this one is different.

What I really want to know if he IS attracted to me. I don't know how much of an expert you all are on this kind of stuff, but please help me as much and as precise as you can!

So, he's older, much older, but I feel so strong about him, and I feel like I'm under this love spell, that will never end, and if I can never have him, then nobody will ever be good enough for me.

He messes with his tie when he's around me, he fixes he's clothing, he rubs his chin, or face.... when we're in the same room, he'll look at me, then when I start to turn my head to look in his direction he looks away. Keep in mind, that I told you he's completely off limits, as in someone that would get fired from his job if I ever acted on this attraction, or if he did.

When I walk by him, he looks at me, but tries not to make it obvious, and then quickly looks away. There was a time when I was walking towards an open door, and he was in the room, he was facing sideways, but when he looked my way, he looked back, then did a double take. I'm really confused though, because when we're at large gatherings that involves the whole school, it seems he doesn't even look my way once! It makes me so mad sometimes, I feel very very strong about him, I feel as if he's my soul mate, but we can never be together, and somtimes I have fantasies about him, but then those get crushed, and my heart feels torn... it seems like he's hot and cold.. one moment he won't be able to keep his eyes off me, but then another he doesn't even pay the slightest attention to me, and if he does, it will only be for a split second. It seems to go back and forth.

What should I do? How do I overcome these feelings?

View related questions: crush, soulmate

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (18 December 2008):

I just want to thank all of you for your advice, it really helped me realize some important things, and that i need to get over it, and your advice actually has helped me stop thinking about him so much, i know it's only been a couple of days, but i've noticed, i haven't been thinking about him much at all lately. You guys are right, i need to find some1 my age, and stop lingering on this infatuation. Thanks all of you that replied!! It helped a lot!

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A female reader, Anonny United Kingdom +, writes (17 December 2008):

If this is your teacher we're talking about and you were underage then it is unlikely he would risk anything for a fling!

However, seeing you are over 16 - if and only if he REALLY likes you and thought you were worth losing a job over then he may act on his impulses! - You will just have to wait and see - but don't get any false hopes up - you will only be heartbroken if nothing happens!

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A female reader, eyeswideopen United States +, writes (17 December 2008):

eyeswideopen agony auntJust cutting to the chase...

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A female reader, eyeswideopen United States +, writes (17 December 2008):

eyeswideopen agony auntYou are going to be told over and over that this is a typical school girl crush and that it will fade in time.

You will then claim this is different, this is TRUE LOVE. That that may be true of other girls but you have a more deep, everlasting bond to your teacher.

You will then be told over and over again that this is your teacher and he will never risk his job to take advantage of a school girl with a crush.

You will then want to know if you should profess your love to this teacher because it is bursting to come out and you think he may feel the same about you.

You will then be told over and over again that telling him would not be a good idea, to forget it and try to concentration on your friends and your studies.

You will then ignore all the advice and answers and post this very same question in another week or so.

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A male reader, askJAY South Africa +, writes (17 December 2008):

askJAY agony auntThis teacher is attracted to you, but he is mature enough not to act on it, now trot on dear. Look at the boys your age :)

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A female reader, wrhillgil United States +, writes (17 December 2008):

wrhillgil agony auntAge is nothing but a number for #1. Is this guy a teacher? i honestly dont know what to tell u, im goin thru kinda the same thing right now w/ the whole u love this guy but ur not sure how he feels bout u...so i say just go w/ the flow. Dont set urself up for failure. Dont have the attitude of if i cant have him then i dont want no one, because say if it doesnt work then what r u goona do? stay lonely for the rest of your life? trust me its not fun, but maybe try not flirting but giving him a lil more attention try talkin to him more and see where that takes you. Because guys like to hide their emotions. Best of luck get back at me....

~Hillary~

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