A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:I have no idea where to begin I am only hoping you all can offer some advice. So I was with my ex for three years, we were engaged at one point, but I broke it off after our twin babies were born stillborn. We stayed in a relationship we just weren’t engaged. This past summer we broke up for three weeks and he started dating someone else so I saw the picture on snapchat that he posted and I messaged him and we ended up getting back together. He told me the reason why he got with her was to make me angry and that is why he posted the picture to get a reaction. So august 12 we got back together and I was under the assumption that things were heading back to normal. He told me they just talked they were nothing serious and all this stuff and I believed him, I had no reason not to. Three weeks ago tomorrow I called him and she answered the phone where she proceeded to tell me she had been living with him since September first. I never got an explanation from him, instead he blocked me from his phone, I Have no idea if I am still blocked and when I snapchat messaged him he told me told me “ok” and to “leave me alone” so I did, I picked up my life starting going out and posting to snapchat. Since then he has called me 80 times. Blocked me off snapchat, then unblocked me and re-added me and I accepted. Friday, he posted picture of him and her on snapchat and I did not look and then he unfriended me. I do not know what to do..
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female
reader, Youcannotbeserious  + ♥, writes (2 October 2018):
 So sorry to hear about your twins. It is not too late to get help to come to terms with your loss if you feel you need it.
You need to accept that your ex is just that: your EX. He is in the past. He has moved on and is in another relationship. (Can I just add, if he uses people to make other people angry, he is not a very nice person.)
The problem with living your life on social media is that you get so see and hear lots of stuff you would rather not know about. You need to be disciplined and block/remove him from all aspects of your life. Block him on social media, block his number so he can't call you. Then move on with your life. You are just prolonging your pain by staying in contact with him.
Wishing you all the best.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 October 2018): The story about your twins is quite tragic. I'm so sorry!
There's something very weird going-on with your ex. It seems he's having fun playing mind-games. I think he wasn't certain that his other relationship was a sure-thing; so he messed-around with your head, until he knew for sure he and she were a couple. I think he played you both against each other. He really wanted her, but she may have been dragging her feet. So he used you to get her to hurry-up and make up her mind.
I'm also very sorry that you got played in such a mean and dirty way. It's reprehensible, and it seems there's no limit to how cruel people can be these days.
Social media is nothing but a psychological-weapon; and you'd do yourself a favor to expunge all his messages, delete his phone number, and block him from all your social media feeds. You may need to temporarily close-down your social media accounts, and have a total social media black-out for a month or two. You may also have to change your phone number. Get rid of all mutual contacts, and be sure to block them too! Avoid his hangouts and his friends.
I have to suspect that if you didn't; you'd only be tempted to keep stalking and tracking every move he makes, and he knows it. So he will make it his business to keep your feelings and emotions raw; so you'd be too messed-up to date anybody else. This is about his ego.
He's trying to paralyze you emotionally and psychologically, to keep you from dating.
If you met and like anyone; you'll still be all tangled-up in his business. Unable to move-on. Busy being worried about what he's doing, out of jealousy. Your jealousy is being played against you. That's why you have to have a blackout and lay-low; until you get your act together.
He doesn't want you to find anybody; but he doesn't want you either. He's trying to cause you mental-health issues; so you'll fall apart, and he can move-on with his new girlfriend. Mind-games go-on forever; and if you try to reciprocate, it only proves he's got you! He wins!
You need healing and recovery-time. You can't, because you're too addicted to social media. It's hurting you. You can't get over him; because he has constant and easy access to you. So he can play with your head 24/7. You've got to wise-up and move on. Get-off social media and get some bereavement-counseling.
Emotionally, you're a ticking time-bomb right-now. Ready to explode, or implode. He's trying his best to make you have a mental-collapse. You have to outsmart him.
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A
male
reader, Billy Bathgate +, writes (1 October 2018):
Unfriend him and block him stop messaging him and move on with your life
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A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (1 October 2018):
 First, OP I'd like to say I'm sorry for your loss of your babies. I hope you have sought some grief counseling for that. If not, maybe that is something to consider.
What to do OP?
I know you have an emotional connection to this guy but he left this relationship a LONG time ago.
The fact that he "dated" someone to get a reaction from you, is low both towards you AND her! Can you imagine being used like he used her?
While he might be lashing out due to grief or he is just petty.
My advice? Part from grief counseling? BLOCK, DELETE, REMOVE, UNFRIEND him and anyone connected to him whom you don't talk to in person.
While he might still be trying to keep in touch with you because you two shared a lot together, you LETTING him keep winding you up is not going to help you move forward.
HE has moved on with someone else. He even KEPT her around while "pretending to reconcile with you. NOT cool. Not to you or her. I find his behavior rather disrespectful.
He didn't post a picture of him and her on snapchat to make you jealous, but to hurt YOU. THAT is not someone I would keep around in my life. It's immature, disrespectful and quite frankly petty.
Let him be and block him from any access to you. Make sure you tighten your Facebook privacy settings etc.
Eventually he will get the point that you are moving on whether he likes it or not.
Chin up.
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