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On a date, who should pick up the bill?

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Question - (31 July 2008) 7 Answers - (Newest, 1 August 2008)
A female United States age 41-50, *tina356 writes:

What is the proper etiquette when going out on a date on who should pay? I always expect the man to pay for at least the first few dates. Then I may put some money towards dinner once in a while. Is this ok?

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A reader, anonymous, writes (1 August 2008):

In my opinion, the guy always pays.

Atleast for the first few dates.

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A male reader, Danielepew Mexico +, writes (31 July 2008):

Danielepew agony auntOops, something I learned on my own, with a group of friends but might be useful here as well: if you will split the check, make sure you don't go to a place the other party can't really afford. Like when I was a college student and these friends of mine, both married to well-paid consultants, decided to go for a drink in the second most expensive restaurant in the country. One bottle of beer, twenty dollars. Remember that I live in a very poor country.

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A male reader, Danielepew Mexico +, writes (31 July 2008):

Danielepew agony auntI also agree with LazyGuy. Just for the sake of reinforcing his post, here's what Emily Post has to say about who pays:

"For a first date at least, the person who asks should pay unless both parties agree in advance to share expenses. By saying that you want to "take out" or "treat" someone, you make it clear that you intend to pay.

If the person who isn't paying suggests doing something in addition to or more costly than the original plans - for example, going to a club after the other person has already paid for a nice dinner and concert tickets - then she or he should offer to pay or split the extra costs.

When a date "just happens" and you aren't sure who asked whom, it's reasonable to suggest sharing the costs. This doesn't always mean splitting everything straight down the middle. He might pay for dinner, and she could get the movie tickets.

If you really arent' sure who'll pay, be prepared by taking cash or credit cards. You can offer to cover your share, but don't make an issue if the other person clearly intends to pay.

Paying for a date does not obligate the other person to do anything in return. To expect or demand any kind of intimacy because you picked up the check is totally out of bounds".

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A male reader, LazyGuy Netherlands +, writes (31 July 2008):

LazyGuy agony auntDepends on the date.

The person that asks the other for a romantic date, pays.

If it is just two friends meeting, split the check.

If one person is significantly better off, the person that is better off shouldn't allow the other person to pay for everything.

If something is very expensive and both want to do it even if it is romantic the costs can be split although this is more for such situations like a holiday/outing.

I personally think that during a romantic date the person asking should ALWAYS pay. If you as a female want to pay as well, then ask him out instead. It is better then splitting the bill on what is supposed to be a night out as a couple.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (31 July 2008):

Offer but usually it go with him saying, 'no no, i pay'

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A female reader, TELLULAH United Kingdom +, writes (31 July 2008):

TELLULAH agony auntIf he asked you out then he should pay. If you ask him the next time then you should pay, and if he really likes you he wont let you pay anyway. Be carefull not to offer, he might just think your a sponger, After all we did want equality didnt we?

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A reader, anonymous, writes (31 July 2008):

lol ermmm yeah I think your right but I'd take some money just incase because it depends on the guy...

Depends how much they like you and whether you've known each other for a while etc etc etc.

I suggest you ask them beforehand.

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