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Obsessed with a girl in my class. What are my options?

Tagged as: Crushes, Dating, Friends, Teenage, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (30 July 2015) 8 Answers - (Newest, 4 August 2015)
A male United Kingdom age 13-15, *ain001 writes:

Hello,

I'm 13 yrs old and I'm obsessed with a girl in my year but I'm too shy to talk to her and since its the holidays i don't have contact with her.

I want to follow her on instagram but feel like everyone will find something fishy going on as i don't want anyone to know. I think about her all the time but have not told anyone that i fancy her. What shall i do?

View related questions: shy

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A male reader, Rey United States +, writes (4 August 2015):

Rey agony auntWhat to talk about first...first do some recon, military term for gathering information. Peep her instagram Facebook whatever and find out what she's into. Music or movies she likes. Or better yet go in blind, leaves you something to ask her about. If you're lucky enough to be in the same room as her comment about the situation, ask her what's up, comment on the music playing if any is...ask her what she's doing for break, say whatever just keep talking. And be cool.

Most important thing to remember with any girl is to not treat them like they're special. Talk to them like you would one of your buddies. Right now you're putting her on a pedestal. Seeing her as more special than than she is. She farts, poops, falls down, cries. She's not a goddess she's just a person. Treat her like it. Talk to her like you would your best guy friend. Makes everything much easier. Imagine all the other guys sounding like idiots when they talk to her because they're fumbling over there words as if they're talking to Beyonce or something. Lol

Hope this helps.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (4 August 2015):

Hi,

I've read your story and your last Q. I'm 16, a girl.

Here is a tip to let you get the conversation started: Don't ask weird questions like does she have a bf or such. Play it cool and become her friend by asking normal kid-teen Q's like what kinds of hobbies does she have, like art or music, etc. Maybe you'll have something in common.

Just become her friend at first. When you've succeeded at that, then you can take the next step. Don't rush into things, trust me it can put off the wrong image even if you didn't mean it like that. If you talk 'bout hobbies, those can be good and interesting conversation starters. Then in that way you'll learn something about her at the very start.

You can even maybe ask her a stupid little Q later like what's her fav color or what kind of pet does she have. ^-^

So be yourself but think what you say before you say it. Place yourself in her shoes.

If she doesn't like you for who you are, well then move on. Your still at the start of the teen years, you'll learn from your mistakes and you'll have more than 1 gf in your life.

Just try to have 1 at a time, because if that happens it can mess up a girl's life and of course it's called cheating (no offence, it's just a friendly warning because my 1 cousin, that's the same age as you, likes to have more than 1 gf at a time and the girls hated him a lot afterwords). :)

Hope this helps. ^-^ Blessed be and good luck

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A male reader, Zain001 United Kingdom +, writes (4 August 2015):

Zain001 is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Another question I've got is, hopefully when i start talking to her what do i talk about first and how do i start the conversation etc. BTW Rey thank you sooo much for your help!

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A male reader, Zain001 United Kingdom +, writes (4 August 2015):

Zain001 is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Thank you sooo much guys on your replies and i'll keep you updated! First I'm going to follower her on Instagram however she has not been active lately but hopefully it'll be worth the try.

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A male reader, Rey United States +, writes (3 August 2015):

Rey agony auntI'm going to tell you a story, my friend showed me a female friend of his on Instagram. I followed her and she followed me back. it would be 2 years before I ever got to hang out with her in person. so when I did eventually get to hang out with her, I just talked to her and kept on talking to her until we became friends, in conversations turned into late night video chats, eventually we started going out together sushi, movies, etc...that turned to flirting and kissing and so on and so forth. she was gorgeous so I never thought I would have really had a chance, but I did. and it all started because I talked to her and kept on talking. you can do it too :-)

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A male reader, Zain001 United Kingdom +, writes (3 August 2015):

Zain001 is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Thank you sooo much guys on your replies and i'll keep you updated! First I'm going to follower her on Instagram however she has not been active lately but hopefully it'll be worth the try.

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A male reader, Rey United States +, writes (31 July 2015):

Rey agony auntA journey of a thousand miles begins with the first step, I've gotten beautiful women who in school I thought I'd never have a chance with simply because I talked to them and kept talking to them. Then you say something funny or stupid. Doesn't matter as long as you say something. And you do this Until its okay to flirt with her a bit and see if she flirts back.

Getting the girl of your dreams is a process and you can't skip the steps. Plus with all the social media these days it's easy to find out her interests with a bit of stalking. First step is to talk to her though man. Maybe find out common friends and use their help to get you two in the same room. Works for me. Good luck, little dude.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (30 July 2015):

If you like her, and did end up going out with her then people would know...just like her instagram and chat to her, leave the odd comment etc...

She might like you back, or she might not. But you won't find out unless you try. Do you know people who know her and her friends? You could meet up.in a group for an afternoon or evening and chat to her?

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