A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:So my ex, who lives with me, broke up with me 2 months ago. She claimed almost a week ago she was confused and didnt know what to do, she told me she missed me and she didnt want to hurt me, she cried a little. The day after she told me the same thing and asked if she could sit in my lap; I said sure and she did she started to cry again and told me the exact same thing but this time she kissed me and we made out a little, later that night she kissed me again.The next day I tried to kiss her and she used her little motto that "Shes confused and doesnt know what to do".Well about a week later she asks me to stay up with her while she studies for her final and does her homework, I said sure. It gets to about 7 am when she says shes gonna take a shower so she leaves my room to do so and I find out that she is dating another guy... (Doesnt matter how I found out but I know its 100% true)She had, at this point, been dating him for about 4 weeks. Mind it hasnt even been a whole 2 months and we were together for over a yeaer and a half.The guy is NOT her type, hes very showy-offy, he thinks his shit doesnt stink, he thinks hes the best, and he (Metaphorically) has a big head. (Thinks alot of himself). When me and my ex were going out I accused her at one point of cheating on me with him, which was most likely true.This guy was sending her messages saying, "I cant wait to kiss you tomorrow..." and so on to where it got into sexual stuff and her response "I cant wait to see you either"This put a damper on my day, to where I couldnt even sleep.What I dont get is why she said and did all that stuff, and flirts with me when shes going out with this guy. It explains the crying, it was guilt.So I call her dad, who I have been talking to for a long time and me and him are close.I told him everything, including the sexual stuff and her responses. Apparently she lied to her father too (Which is unusual because they are very close) He had specifically asked her if she was in a relationship with this guy and she said no. He is very upset about this now, almost as much as me. But he told me he thinks this is a rebound relationship and she isnt telling anyone about it because if she keeps tugging at me with her little "Motto" then if the relationship doesnt work with this guy she has me to fall back on; so his advice was ignore her.So I have been, shes lied to me and her father alot about this, im more pissed of that she is being sneaky about it than anything. I mean just a couple days ago (before I knew about this) she asked if I wanted to go on vacation with her (just the 2 of us) I said sure and we started planning it.But like I said, I have been ignoring her calls, texts, when she talks to me I give her short ackowledgements or short replies. Her father told me I should move on, which is what im doing now.She hasnt really picked up on me ignoring her because she still tries to talk to me and stuff, but tonight she deff. got that I didnt want to talk to her, she asked me for a pointless favor asking that since she has to leave work at a specific time if I could help our boss (yes, we work together) out if she needs it and if I can take the metro home, I responded "I wouldnt really have a choice if she asked and I cant walk home". It didnt seem to phase her but I feel like she only asked me that was to indirectly give me information.But she didnt really get my point till later that night, I was wrapping her grandmothers and fathers gift, and she was showing me how to wrap them, the she started talking to me about her sisters christmas gift, and asking what she should do about it and I gave her an I dont know, and didnt say anything after that. She started thinking out loud "I dont know what I should do, do you?" I didnt respond.I didnt look at her so I didnt see her face but it was obvious the rest of the night she was mad; which didnt bother me a bit. It seems like if shes asking to go on vacation she doesnt seem to keep this guy a long time. And her father says now that I know everything, I have a great hand and that I should show her none of my cards. She knows I have been out with a girl to see a movie but thats it, and she knows I've been talking to girls.But the point is, now that she is mad should I continue with her fathers advice? He expects her to come back after this if I continue with this.Opinions on what I should do?
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broke up, christmas, flirt, grandmother, move on, my ex, talking to girls, text Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, VSAddict +, writes (21 December 2011):
 Well as long as you're comfortable with the arrangements. But she doesn't deserve to live with you if she's not going to give you the respect you deserve, which includes being honest and straightforward.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 December 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionNo. she asked me once what I thought about her moving out about a month ago and told her to do what she wants. Since then she hasnt said anything. i dont believe she expected that answer.
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A
female
reader, VSAddict +, writes (21 December 2011):
Leave the relationship where it ended and stop trying to figure her out. She's playing games and she lied to you and her father. She knows what she's doing and thinks you don't. Keep trying to deal with her and all you're going to do is get hurt. Her father is right. You need to move on because she's not right for you and she obviously doesn't mind messing with your head. Just curious, has she made any arrangements to move out?
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