A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Can someone help me understand this.I broke up with this girl about 7 months ago and I wont go into what happened and why I ended it. But it wasn't a nice break up, I ended it in a terrible way, unintentionally of course but as a result I was a jerk and ended up hurting her a lot and really upsetting her. Of course after she didn't want much to do with me, it was clear she didn't want to even speak to me. She would just ignore my presence in the bar, or look at me like she didn't know me and carry on. Nobody would ever think we were together or knew each other.I'll admit it was strange for me because I wasn't used to seeing that side of her towards me, but i knew it was myself to blame for her change in attitude. Well now over 7 months on, I saw her on Saturday night and it was unusual, she saw me and instead of ignoring or giving me a passing look like I was a stranger. She in fact smiled and said hi and we did have small talk. It wasn't long, it was brief but she was really nice, smiling and very happy. I don't know why there was a change, but when she was ignoring me and treating me like a stranger it did hurt, but I didn't find myself missing her or feeling much about us, I just accepted what happened and never gave it much thought. But yet, that moment that night, it was different.I know it sounds silly, but it made me think of when we were together and those feelings I once had, a small part of them came back and I missed her a little bit. I've noticed that I've thought about her a few times since that night.What I want to understand is, why is it when she was ignoring me and we were like strangers I didn't miss her, or have any of those feelings present? Yet when she smiled and was friendly towards me I found some feelings come back and miss when we were together? How could that of made any difference, because I would have thought when we were acting like strangers that would be the time that I would find myself missing her and those feelings being present?
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female
reader, Honeypie  + ♥, writes (2 January 2014):
 I do think it's partly "I want what I can't have" and partly regret over how it ended.
Shit happens, learn from it and wish her well.
She ignored you when she hurt, not that she is over the hurt she can be gracious and polite. Doesn't mean she wants you back, more of a "Look at what you missed out on by being an ass, buddy".
A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (31 December 2013):
 You want what you can't have. When she was ignoring you she still had feelings for you and she was in pain. What is there to miss about a scorned woman? Now what she is feeling is indifference. She is single and available on the market. When she looks happy it also reminded you of the first time you saw her. It made you wonder if the relationship was that bad if she has the ability to be happy.
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A
male
reader, M Proops +, writes (31 December 2013):
Well it sounds like there is a spark still there from her at least.You have a lot of apologising to do to her if you want her back.You never know how much you miss something until it's gone.If you feel you want her back then start grovelling.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (31 December 2013): Hey, buddie, what I think you might not like but she moved on, an seeing some one else now, an is happy, so don't take much on her saying hi, but what you ask, she, with her smile touch your heart, I know now it's going to be hard to get her out of your mind, I hope am wrong, she might be missing you, so you will never know unless you to talk, but if she has moved on , just let her go, I know it will be hard, it can take years, feeling that empty feeling inside, to fade away, but you will find love again. good luck buddie
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