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Now I'm just a friend because it took me so long to get the courage to tell her I like her

Tagged as: Crushes, Friends, Teenage<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (1 June 2014) 4 Answers - (Newest, 3 June 2014)
A male Ireland age 26-29, anonymous writes:

Dear agony aunt, ive known this girl for around a year now and a few months ago she started taking an interest in me. While I was dying to reciprocate the feeling, it took me a while to pluck up the courage and tell her I like her. But now it's as if it's too late. Some of her friends have said that she now sees me as her friend because it took me too long to respond and it is becoming near impossible to get a moment alone with her. I don't want to accept her as a friend and I'm almost completely struck out. What do I do?

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A reader, anonymous, writes (3 June 2014):

You can tell her how much you still liked her, and just needed time to get your nerve up. Let her know that you are sorry that you made her wait too long; but if she only wants to be friends now, you must respect that.

You should never try to force a girl, or anyone, to like you. They have to like you of their own free will, and she has a right to change her mind.

She may only be annoyed that you were not brave enough to let her know you liked her; when you knew she likes you.

For now, either be friends or just give up. She is only 16, and girls at that age can change their feelings really fast. They don't like boys too afraid to let them know if they like them; because she's afraid maybe you may not really like her that much. You also embarrassed her in-front of her friends. Her friends knew she liked you too.

She doesn't want to look stupid to her friends.

Now she thinks you're too shy, and maybe you will not make a very good boyfriend. She wants you to be more outgoing. She wants her friends to know all about you; and she wants them to see you both liking each other.

Here's what you could do. Just be nice to her and be a friend. Give her a little time to think about it without being pushy. If she changes her mind, that would be great.

If she only wants to be friends, don't knock that. That could be pretty nice too.

Don't feel too bad. You've learned a lesson. You can't keep a girl waiting, and girls like it when you're brave.

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A male reader, methuselah United Kingdom +, writes (2 June 2014):

Hi,

You have two options really: Let it go and accept the situation, or 'tell her how you feel.'

I'm not a great fan of telling friends how you feel because in my experience, it rarely works towards a date or relationship. However, you do have the feedback from the friends that said she could have been into dating previously. That's what leads me to believe you may have a chance.

So, try to find a moment, tell her you want more and see what she says. If it is a friendship offer or anything less than boyfriend and girlfriend, then just accept this and move on. Don't try to wait around in hope. Do yourself a favour and move on. I hope it works for you.

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A male reader, wise-guy United Kingdom +, writes (2 June 2014):

Tell her how you feel man! What are you waiting for?!

If you don't tell her you will always regret it (trust me on that) - even if she tells you she only sees you as a friend at least you'll hear it from her and not just friends.

You need to let her know how you feel or you'll be stuck in the friendzone wondering 'what if'

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A male reader, CMMP United States +, writes (2 June 2014):

What do you do? Learn from your mistake and don't let it happen again.

If you don't make a move soon enough women will often lose interest. It's better to risk rejection too soon than too late.

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